Driving kids anywhere.

Driving kids anywhere.

This is every journey I go on with my two little cherubs. Regardless of length of journey, this will continue until we reach our destination, however far away it might be!

I’m going to do each child’s sentences in their favourite colours to make it easier for you to distinguish who is talking. Pink is 4yo daughter, (unsurprising really!), and green is 2yo son.

Please don’t assume that this played out line by line, if you can, try and imagine that both children are vying to be the loudest at all points in time, from the minute both are in their seats ready to go anywhere. Also, if we are going somewhere new, you can add in the sat nav for good measure!

Ready? Ok, then I’ll begin.

Deep breath everyone……

“Muuuuummy can you pass me my magazeeeeeeen? You said I could have it when we got in the car. Mummy? Muummy? Muuuuummmmmmy?’

“Mummy can you open my window please? More please. More. More”

“It doesn’t open any more then that sweetie, it’s a safety feature.”

“Why?”

“Mummmy muuuummy mmmmmmuuuuuummmmmmmmy, I dropped my magazine!”

“Haha I’ve still got mine”

“Muuummmy wah she still has hers and I dropped miiiiiiiine!”

“Want to look at mine?”

“Yes please.”

“Well you can’t! HA!”

“Waaaaaaaaah she’s being meeaaaan”

“Children please!” (Groping around in the back footwell frantically, trying to locate the magazine before the looming roundabout necessitates needing the vital arm for a gear change.)

“That way a bit, that way, that way!”

“Which way?!” I can’t look I’m driving, towards the door or away?”

“Just look in the mirror, I’m showing you.”

“I can’t look in the mirror, I’m driving”

“You can, just look,       look,         look,        look,        you’re not looking!”

“You can do it mummy!”

Magazine retrieved at last, peace reigns for, oooh, 10 seconds.

“My arm is cold, please close the window.”

“No, it’s my window and I want it open.”

“Closed”

“Open”

“Waaaaaaaah”

Half close the window, both in uproar at the grand unfairness of meeting halfway.

“I love this song it’s my favourite, turn it up mummy.”

“No, it’s too noisy.”

“Is not!”

“Is too”

“Is not”

“I’ve dropped my magazeeeeeen!!”

So it continues. It used to stop when they fell asleep but that is getting rarer and rarer. So if you see a mega stressed mum, frantically trying to drive safely whilst digging around in the archaeological dig of maps of farm parks, socks, coats for all seasons and a variety of damn magazines in the back footwells, spare a thought for her, because it may well be me!

I know for a fact I’m not alone here from chatting to friends so do feel free to share the horror of car journeys in your household! We have also had comical results from flying with the children.

44 Comments

  1. Oh I feel your pain! One of mine used to ask for the music on before we’d even shut the car doors. Forget mirror, signal, manoeuvre – we need to add in mirror, shut the kids up, signal, scream, manoeuvre, sob! My three are now teens so their headphones are in constantly so I now spend the entire journey shouting trying to get them to hear me – that drives me insane too!! #BigPinkLink

  2. Every damned time. I am just getting to that beautiful, “Mummy; s/he’s looking out my window” stage. Cue tears and tirades. #bigpinklink

  3. My daughter is fine but with my son it’s a roulette, he either smiles and giggles all the way or screams like he’s being murdered and doesn’t stop until the car does!

    We never know which one we’re going to get so it makes planning journeys a real pain!

    #BigPinkLink

  4. Totally with you on that one same in our car hilarious not thanks for hosting #bigpinklink

  5. Oh yes! Same in our car! We usually have arguments about who has which toy and whether it’s someone else’s turn now and whether we’ve been travelling long enough to have a travel sweet yet. #BigPinkLink

  6. I drove straight through a red light the other day because mine were arguing! I don’t think driving with kids in the car should be allowed!! x #bigpinklink

  7. I’m pleased (or should that be smug!) to say that we don’t get this too often given the age gap, one is 3 and the other is 11.5. However, I ‘m sure that as the 3 year old gets a bit older she will be asserting herself a little more. I am hopeful that by the time this happens, the eldest will have passed her test and have her own car ha ha!
    Great post, sounds like me and my little brother back in the 70s.
    #bigpinklink

  8. Oh bless you! My little one is only 9 months so it’s a lottery as to whether he will fall asleep or whinge!! Luckily he usually sleeps. I am one of 4, I think car journeys must have been hell for my parents – especially as I was often travel sick!!! Let’s hope that isn’t hereditary… #bigpinklink

  9. Reading things like this does make me happy I can’t drive and don’t have to deal with this…on the other hand, public transport with children isn’t exactly a joy! #bigpinklink

  10. What is it with kids dropping things? I once got my arm trapped whilst driving, only slightly dangerous #BigPinkLink

  11. Oh I’ve all this to come then!? Thankful that my little is quiet for now! I’ll look out for tips #bigpinklink

  12. Ha ha sounds very familiar…We travel and go on long journeys in our Bongoing campervan. The only way to keep my two quiet…well for a millisecond is to stuff them full of snacks! The little blighters still seem to be able to whinge even with their mouths full..it’s another amazing’ kid talent’#bigpinklink

  13. Mine are too small….
    All ahead of us

  14. I do believe you had our car wire tapped, such a stunning similarity…uncanny really. The best way to avoid this constant dialogue that the Mrs. and me found, was to play books on tape…They like those! 😀
    <3 <3 <3 M'wah #bigpinklink

  15. Haha! I’m sure Honey thinks I’m an octopus DJ, she doesn’t the thing where she asks me to pick stuff up off the floor too! She alternates it with ‘let’s have *insert random made up song lyrics* on the radio now’ #bigpinklink

  16. Oh dear. I can see this being my future! Haha.

    #BigPinkLink

  17. Argh! Cars and kids. Unless they are asleep it’s definitely a firm of torture! #bigpinklink

  18. Our car journeys used to go “wahhh!!!zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
    But now Eden is getting older they’re more Wahhhhh and less zzzzz. Which leads to more “ring-a-ling! The animals sing!” and “the flowers spin in the sun!” Gah!

  19. So funny. Peachy is too little to be that much of a handful in the car. For now she’s either fussy, or not fussy. Those are the only two options for the time being. #bigpinklink

  20. Every single day. My kids seem to think that I can drive a car and yet still reach round to pick up everything they have dropped/break up a fight/wrestle their arms back into their seat belts. I hate car journeys and have resorted to a) bribery and b) turning the heating up as hot as possible so they fall asleep!
    #bigpinklink

  21. So true and I was a nervous driver, hence why I don’t drive anymore. I only had to lose it once for them to just be quiet lol. Crazy helps sometimes #bigpinklink

  22. lol we have one boy who is three and it is hard enough! luckily the dvd player keeps him quiet on longer trips! #bigpinklink

  23. It is so hard but good old eyespie helps kill some time X #bigpinklink

  24. Ha sounds just like my car on every journey along with my daughters are we there yet when we only left 2 mins before! #bigpinklink

  25. The joys of being a mummy. This is most of my car journeys except I have a screaming 1 year old to deal with! xx

    #bigpinklink

  26. Ha! This exchange makes me kind of glad I don’t drive – not that taking public transport with kids is much more fun! It means that EVEYRONE can hear when they misbehave. #bigpinklink

  27. Haha this does not make me look forward to when Piglet gets older! I quite like his sleeping in the car at the moment #bigpinklink

  28. Ahh I felt panic over that magazine just reading this! Oh the stress! #bigpinklink

  29. The thought of long journeys with children brings me out in a sweat!

    #bigpinklink

  30. Mummy, take this. Mummy, pass me my morpher. I’m hungry. Read to me…

    Yes, same here! #BigPinkLink

  31. Oh my hat! Somehow our cars have reincarnated! It is sometime PAINFUL driving around with kids. Especially my 3 year old… 🙂 #bigpinklink

  32. Adam is driving me mad lately in the car, he keeps saying the music is too loud when one of my fav songs is on and I just want to sing! #bigpinklink

  33. Noooo I live in hope car journeys get easier as your kids get older, don’t ruin it for me. I can so imagine that car journey and just how stressfully annoying it must be! #bigpinklink

  34. Ha ha… our car has been off the road for six months as it’s on a vintage car insurance, but not really sure I’m looking forward to start driving again now that Caspian is learning to talk. Though his favourite word is CAR, so… #bigpinklink

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

  35. Kids, cars and travel are never a quiet mix. I usually put on Elvis and this keeps them busy singing #bigpinklink

  36. Oh the whole “look Mummy look!” Sometimes I have to grumble through gritted teeth I AM DRIVING. I NEED TO LOOK AT THE CHUFFING ROAD. It is so stressful. Thankfully the 18th month old still falls asleep a lot! Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink

  37. Ha ha, love this! My boys love music and always want it on louder. Watching my 2 year old copy his brothers (and my) dance moves is hilarious. Guess this behaviour will cease when they’re older and too cool for school so I’m making the most at the moment. My 5 yr olds current request is Shakira, She Wolf! lol. #bigpinklink

  38. I feel like I could have written this, we are definitely going through this with our toddler and as tot can’t yet speak she will also speak for her! Her current favourite thing is to tell me to ‘GO’ when we’re stopped at a red light, she will gradually increase her volume until finally the light goes green. Thank you for hosting #bigpinklink xx

  39. We always said we were never going to get those headrest DVD players, but I’m rapidly changing my mind! #bigpinklink

  40. Haha brilliant – I feel for you! Our little one is not yet talking but I fear for what car journeys will be like when she does…for the moment we have a 12 year old who wants to know where the snacks are at all times! Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink

  41. Gosh, my kids are always hungry when they get in the car even though most of the time they have just finished stuffing their faces! oh and they need a wee every 5 minuted too #bigpinklink

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