The perils of parenting older children.

The perils of parenting older children!

I recently went to a one year old birthday party and all of the other children present were much younger then my two and I got to thinking, gone are the difficulties of parenting a wobbly walker, a child who can’t speak and tell you what they want, or a highchair houdini. Those days are far behind me now, but it’s not to say that parenting older children doesn’t have it’s own challenges.

For example;

They can read. Please believe me that when you are sitting happily tapping out a text to your mate about how fit you think Stefan from the Vampire Diaries is, the last thing you want to hear is a strident voice over your shoulder piping up with; ‘Mummy why does a vampire need a diary and what’s a ‘good staking’? Do you mean you want to go to lunch with him? Do vampires eat steak?’ Er, yes darling, that’s exactly what Mummy means. Ahem.

They can open doors. And they do. The very minute you relax down into the bath with your book, the door handle will start to rattle before the door flies open and one, or sometimes both children will burst through the door, either chattering loudly about what they have been doing or airing their grievances and presenting their defense case with a passion. Then one will get in with you while the other sits and does a poo, both talking at you incessantly the entire time.

They can talk. And they do, a lot. You spend months and months encouraging them to talk and then suddenly, you can’t stop them! And whilst you love hearing what they have to say, sometimes, just sometimes, the blow by blow account of their day down to the very last millisecond can be slightly exhausting to listen to.

They can argue. With each other, with their friends, with their Dad, with me! There’s an answer for everything and you end up spending serious chucks of your day refereeing!

They pick up on things. ‘Mummy, what was that funny look you gave Aunty Sarah when she asked what time Daddy got in in Saturday? With your eyebrows all high and funny? Like this, look, like this, look, look, look Mummy. I’m doing it now, look, shall I ask Daddy?’

They tell other people stuff they really shouldn’t. ‘I told Miss today that we hadn’t done my homework because you said there were better things we could be doing on a lovely sunny day then sitting inside doing Maths and that you don’t think 6 year olds should have any homework and that in other countries children don’t even start school until they are 7 and they are all just fine’ Oops!

They understand things. Gone are the days of watching whatever the hell I wanted on tv with a baby on the boob and a tube of pringles by my side. Now anything over a U I have to watch furtively when they are out, or in bed, turned low so they won’t hear the inappropriate language or big vampirey slayer scenes! (It’s a problem, I’ve done about 4 series’ in a few months, I need a Vampire Diaries helpline!)

They repeat things they don’t understand. Don’t get me started on lyrics, when your children start dueting at the dinner table about ‘sexy bodies’ you know you need to change radio stations pronto! And trying to explain why something is inappropriate, minefield!

When I was on that sofa, my tiny baby on my lap, milk drunk, I never imagined she would ever get so big, I remember seeing someone’s facebook post about their little one turning 6 and thought it was so far off and suddenly, here we are with missing teeth and gangly limbs. So if you are in those newborn baby days, do make the most of it, all too soon they will be reading your texts over your shoulder and blurting out your secrets to the world! 😀



  1. May 7, 2017 / 3:58 pm

    Ahh bless, it goes much too quickly doesn’t it? And you’ll have two in school in September too won’t you? Wow, where does the time go?

  2. May 7, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    Haha! I totally get this, and I know there’s so much more to come! I love the kids unconditionally, but there are definitely times that I silently wish Amelia would just. stop. talking… please! #bigpinklink

  3. May 8, 2017 / 7:56 am

    I recently called my mother in law a clean freak not realising I was in hearing distance of the little one. She’s repeated it twice now and I’m in mortal fear of her walking up to granny and telling her

  4. May 8, 2017 / 8:02 am

    Once they can read and spell you are in trouble, but I guess you may be getting a bit more sleep. Emphasis on the word bit. #bigpinklink

  5. May 8, 2017 / 8:06 am

    I’ve been so shocked by the change in my little boy over the last few weeks, he can now read and is no longer my little baby. It makes me both sad and proud in equal measures. I feel like I blinked and time went. #bigpinklink

  6. May 8, 2017 / 8:18 am

    I think that they understand things but they don’t quite understand is the hardest. The implications, the consequences or that they treat something serious lightly. It’s all so true. #bigpinklink

  7. May 8, 2017 / 8:24 am

    Hilarious! Oh the talking! One of my daughters chats so much I have to get her to follow me around the house chatting so I can get on with things otherwise I’d get nothing done! Oh and you did make me giggle about the Vampire Diaries text! #BigPinkLink

    • May 11, 2017 / 12:23 pm

      Meanwhile one of my daughters talks so much I impose time segments where she’s not allowed to talk to me… Too much? 🙂

    • June 4, 2017 / 4:01 pm

      Oh that’s so lovely that she still wants to talk to her mum so much! You have a lovely relationship!

  8. May 8, 2017 / 8:52 am

    Ha Ha this made me laugh, my sister has 6 children from 4 to 17 and I have heard her say exactly the same as you about all of the above. My eldest is only 3 so Im slowly starting to experience it, and I know in a couple of years I will be saying ‘Oh life was so much easier when they were babies!’ Nicky xx #bigpinklink

  9. May 8, 2017 / 9:27 am

    haha … I love this. My fav is the ‘they pick up on things’ … the inquisitiveness is not always precious!

  10. May 8, 2017 / 10:26 am

    hahah oh man this definitely helps me feel better about the baby stage lol #bigpinklink

  11. May 8, 2017 / 10:29 am

    My two are still young but the eldest one doesn’t half rattle! As you say, we spent ages getting her to talk, now she won’t stop! #bigpinklink

  12. May 8, 2017 / 10:48 am

    BAHAHAHA! A good staking…. Yep. That is definitely what you meant! I need an American Story helpline, plus I really want to watch Dexter again but they are just always around and it is far too inappropriate for them. And as for the funny looks, I already get asked why I have ‘a naughty face?’ when I am frowning… no way she won’t tell on me if a cross word about Daddy is voiced. #BigPinkLink

  13. May 8, 2017 / 11:56 am

    Hah! Yes to every single one of these. I think my kids are the same age as both of yours so I can definitely relate. My youngest insists on telling her pre-school EVERYTHING about what we do at home. Which at times can be inappropriate. Reading, talking, arguing, opening doors yes, yes, yes they do it all. The days of breast feeding, weaning and potty training feel like a lifetime ago! Thanks for hosting #BigPinkLink and good luck with your blog talk! xx

  14. May 8, 2017 / 12:23 pm

    Haha. I am still an infant Mom, and posts like this remind me to love every challenging minute of it. Your kids sound like a lot of fun though! Thanks for sharing.

  15. May 8, 2017 / 1:11 pm

    All the things I have to look forward to! Thanks for the heads up, I’m not sure whether to be scared or excited! #bigpinklink

  16. May 8, 2017 / 2:27 pm

    This really made me chuckle!!

    I have all this to look forward to as mine’s only 3 months old! I can happily binge watch the Vampire Diaries for a few more years yet (I’m a Damon fan myself!)

    Amy x #BigPinkLink

  17. May 8, 2017 / 5:21 pm

    Oh the joys – we’re at this stage too!! They seem to mortify me on a daily basis 🙂 #bigpinklink

  18. May 8, 2017 / 6:10 pm

    This post made me smile, especially picking up on the texting on the phone #bigpinklink

  19. May 8, 2017 / 7:13 pm

    I’ve got all of these joys to come! #bigpinklink

  20. May 8, 2017 / 7:57 pm

    It was a disaster when Matthew learned to spell as we had got into the habit of spelling things out eg L-E-G-O but now he knows what it means 🙁

  21. May 8, 2017 / 8:10 pm

    Wait till you hit the tweens then you really really can’t believe that the things they come out with. My little 6 year old proudly decided to show off his phonic skills on some very rude words on a graffiti wall recently, oh my. #bigpinklink

  22. May 8, 2017 / 9:25 pm

    Our oldest is nine. Dude I love this post! I want to love this age…best the girl can test the shit out of me!


  23. May 9, 2017 / 11:59 am

    Lol this really made me chuckle – we’re still encouraging our little girl to say something other than ‘no’ and ‘bye’ so can’t imagine this phase quite yet! ~BigPinkLink

  24. Helen
    May 10, 2017 / 9:59 am

    Hahaha – this is a great post. I can only imagine what this must be like!

  25. May 11, 2017 / 12:21 pm

    As you know I love the way your write. ‘Here were are with missing teeth and gangly limbs’ dented my heart…beautifully put. This is just deliciously funny. I can relate to pretty much everything (except for the bath thing…may I suggest you get locks lol. Although I guess they’d then carry on yanking at the handle?). The lyrics thing is a huge bane. Loved loved. #bigguspinkuslinkus as you once said which has stayed with me over a year later! x

  26. May 12, 2017 / 6:13 am

    Our eldest has started doing a few of these now, goodness knows how I’ll cope when they’re both at it! Over talking and opening the bathroom door are 2 of her favourite pastimes now. Now I’m a little nervous for when she an read and understand more, she definitely does not understand the concept of a secret or surprise Thank you for being the most wonderful co host lovely xx

  27. May 12, 2017 / 9:36 am

    Haha yes!! My eldest is a nightmare for ear wigging or nosying at my phone! It’s worse when he replies to my text messages and sends “hilarious” messages back to my friends. #bigpinklink

  28. May 14, 2017 / 8:30 pm

    Haha love this…’what’s a good staking?’ HA. My boy is 3 and he always comes in the bathroom and dies a poo while I’m in the’s like he holds it in!xx #bigpinklink

  29. May 15, 2017 / 9:21 pm

    We are about half way through with these! The opening of the door and unlocking things is a new issue I am just starting to face lol! #bigpinklink

  30. May 18, 2017 / 8:40 am

    I feel your pain.

    You’ll also get to “They have opinions”. And they express them! The Tubblet isn’t keen on appearing in the blog and hates having her photo taken. But … But … Content 😉

  31. May 21, 2017 / 4:47 pm

    Hahaha they tell other people stuff they shouldn’t! Absolutely happens in our house! Those ears are always flapping ha! X

  32. February 9, 2018 / 12:05 pm

    Too funny! Mine both read now and one is particularly blinking nosey. It’s the younger one. (Always is, isn’t it?!) Thankfully she misread my text the other day and asked what klunky meant. And why I was suggesting my friend should take some klunky boots on her no-kids weekend away with the hubby. Oops!

  33. February 24, 2018 / 6:41 pm

    Yes yes yes! It’s only just occurring to me that I can no longer spell things out as the biggest little can spell now! Just when I think I’ve been super covert and clever I get a little voice behind be saying “what’s an a-r-s-e?” Oops. x

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