Having not been blessed, (I use that term so loosely!! 😉 ), with any siblings myself, my children make me question the same thing almost daily; are they supposed to fight this much?
There was always just me growing up, and because we lived in really isolated places in the country, I was often quite lonely as a child. I would escape into books, adventuring off and making new friends in the characters on the pages. A good book could provide me with the company I needed and I would be bereft when the story drew to an end.
Because of this loneliness, I was determined about one thing, when I had children, I would not just have one. I imagined that they would be the best of friends, company for each other and would take joy in every minute spent together.
What an idiot I was!
I had a horrendously traumatic experience with my daughter’s birth. And I told my husband that I could never go through that again. He was sad but had been present through it all and so understood my fears and accepted my wishes.
As time went on though, Mother Nature played her devious tricks and surprise surprise, my longing for another baby was strong enough to overtake my fear at another labour. I imagined her with a sibling, a playmate, and before she was 18 months old, I was pregnant again.
I was really sick for the first few months. She would stand at the toilet door sobbing as I tried to wave an arm comfortingly at her while I dry heaved over and over into the toilet. And the exhaustion, I was done in by 4pm and it was all I could do to switch cbeebies on and heat up a ready meal for her! It was so hard not being able to be the Mum I had been to her.
I had a text book labour with my son, it started in the evening, my Mum came over and I was in the birth centre by the time she awoke in the morning. She came to meet her little brother in the hospital and was not very impressed. We had to stay in overnight and the next day, we took him home and gave her the present ‘from him’. It was a little boy doll all of her own. She threw it at him. A 2 day old new born and the fighting had started already!
Whenever they had a bath, she would pull his little feet, making him slide under the water from his chair. We were always present of course, and no harm ever came to him….but the intent was definitely there! We would always say to her, one day, he might be stronger then you, then you might regret treating him like this.
Well, that day came about a year or so ago. He now fights back, and he can take much more and give it back with gusto, which leaves her squealing! If I had a pound for every time I heard ‘Muuuuuuuuum!’ And then a whole rant about what grievance the other has commited, I would be writing this from my beach house in the Bahamas!
They fight about errythang! Who sits where, who has which plate, who started it! It’s endless! And they will both set out to wind each other up. It will be all lovely and calm and then one will just hover a finger in the other’s face and it will blow up again!
Heaven forbid you praise one of them for something and not the other. Even if it’s something the other one wasn’t even present for! ‘Am I not good at ……… then? Huh?!’ And it’s pointless trying to reason with them that they weren’t even present for whatever event it was! The diva strops from them both tells me that I’m going to be spending a lot of my time in the theatre watching my little darlings on stage because they are good! There are even real tears produced by the bucketful if required!
They clearly love each other to bits underneath it all and their bond is strong in a; ‘I can beat him but just you lay a finger on him and see what happens!’ sort of way and when things are good, it’s wonderful. As you can see from the photos above, they really do have their lovely moments and no matter how big the fight, when they are united in winding Mummy up or in their displeasure at having to leave the fun campsite there is no tighter unit! 😀
So although the Summer holidays have been tough, as they readjusted to each other’s company, actually, they do love each other, and although the fighting has been driving me demented, as has the silly behaviour that replaces the fighting sometimes, I’m very glad they have each other.
Even if it’s meant double trouble a lot of the time!
Ahhh yep, totally feel your pain here! My two are just the same. The closest, most adoring sisters – when they’re having a good moment. And when they’re fighting? Oh my goodness stand by A & E, one of them is going to be en route!
Nat.x
My two are exactly the same – can’t be together, can’t be apart. They absolutely LOVE each other and giggle and laugh at each other all the time BUT they can literally fight over anything x
My siblings and I fought like demons but by the time we were teens we would hang out together and even had the same friend groups. #bigpinklink
My kids spent their first two years together ignoring each other so at first even them fighting was welcome as at least they were interacting. The novelty of it has well and truly worn off now though! #KLTR
So sorry, #bigpinklink – mixing up my tags!
Love that biking photo hehe! We have the 1 so haven’t had any of this. I can imagine it’s certainly double the fun, but when they are old enough I’m sure they will be so pleased to have each other 🙂 I can totally relate to growing up as an only child (sort of). Although I have a sibling, the age difference is so big that by the time they came along, I was out of childhood. #BigPinkLink x
Ditto! My youngest is only 8 months and she’s not even trying to wind up my toddler, but she does. I hope they will play together nicely at some point. It’s definitely a love/hate thing with siblings. I’m sure your youngest will always look out for his sister and vice versa! X #bigpinklink
Yeap…mine have this love hate thing going on. Interestingly, when they do fight and I intervene, I’m the bad guy and they complain! I think they secretly love bickering. I remember my mum just not hearing us bickering with one another but with time, I understand that she zoned out, a trick I am perfecting! Great post! #BigPinkLink
PS Thanks for the Wow for last weeks post!
I only have the one but her and hubby bicker non stop.
#bigpinklink
Hi, I guess the bickering is all part of of growing up my sister and I constantly wound each other up constantly. Your photo shows another side #bigpinklink
My sister and I used to bicker constantly when we were children, and I’d like to say that we grew out of it, but…. We do still love each other though (most of the time!) #bigpinklink
Me and my brother used to fight so much as kids!! oh I have a few stories there, haha! But we get on pretty well now in our old age! He’s alright really #bigpinklink
I’ve had my two close together and so far all has been better than I expected. The eldest is actually quite affectionate to the youngest and the youngest looks at the eldest like some sort of pariah.lol! Am sure it is all short lived though. They are only 2.5 yrs and 5 months at the moment so there hasn’t been much of an opportunity for them to annoy one another. I’m enjoying the peace while it lasts! It is perfectly normal for them to fight though. It’s great for teaching them how to negotiate later on in the real world. #bigpinklink
My boys will either be at each others throats or be the best of friends. There is no inbetween! We have our third little boy due in November and im sure the fun will continue! haha #bigpinklink
The twins most certainly have a love hate relationship and my other two are only two years apart…. alllll girls.
Ill just let you imagine the fights around here.
#bigpinklink
I remember pulling my sister’s hair and trying to bite her in her cot. Trust me, I am grateful for her now! #bigpinklink
I’m still debating if/when Mia should have a sibling! #bigpinklink
I am like you as although I had brothers they left home when I was tiny so I was effectively an only child at home.
My 3 drive me mad with their squabbling and sometimes were especially the boys with what I refer to as their testosterone wars. My daughter is more like me and has verbal weaponary.
I think they do it to mask the extreme love they have for each other or at least that is what I tell myself
I have equal love and hate for all my brothers and sisters, except possibly my baby bro, because the age gap was so big he was too small to fight with. When push comes to shove, they’ll protect each other to the death. A lovely read and a great message. #Bigpinklink
There’s 10 years between my older boys and they bicker almost constantly, which I was surprised at as I thought the age difference would stop that. My friend has kids with a 16 year age gap, and I was so glad when she said they also bickered! It’s a sibling thing, no matter the ages or genders or even how much they like each other. My boys love each other very much, but they annoy the hell out of one another too! My brother and I were the same (I thought I’d killed him once, our fights were so bad), but we’ve always been close. I do feel for my mum now that I have squabblers of my own.
#bigpinklink
Oh, our two love each other and can really bicker with the best of them. 98.9 % of the time is good, that time of the day that is bad usually falls when I come home from work or on a crabby weekend day. Argh! They are close though. I’m so grateful we have the two! They will grow up close and hopefully always be there for each other. Great post! #bigpinklink xoxo
My sister and I got on well until we hit our teens. My own children bicker ALL THE TIME!!! #biginklink
My two are really good with one another with big sis guiding her little sis. However, they have their moments too such as pulling hair (I’m assuming baby wants to be a hair dresser one day!) #bigpinklink
I can only imagine what it will be like once Oliver has a sibling!! #bigpinklink
Ohhhhhhhh I have all this to look forward to!! Actually, I say that, but it’s definitely already started! And Wills is already giving Amelia a run for her money haha!! #bigpinklink
It’s so difficult not just dealing twice the number of kids but also the added sibling issues. But think that just as with the added ups and downs of a second kids, the downs of the sibling relationship also hopefully has its ups to look at too! 🙂 #bigpinklink
Mine are the same, all four of them! It’s crazy because as close as they are, they can be hugging one minute and killing each other the next – drives me crazy! Sometimes the youngest three are all brawling, other times just attacking Lewis when he walks in the door. They argue over just about everything and I spend my life feeling like a referee. I’m hoping they will grow out of it!