I wrote this post years before my adult ADHD diagnosis and I think it is very very telling! I never felt like the other adults!
Be honest, reading the title, did you immediately think I meant you or was there a slight hesitation, a modicum of doubt?
The reason I ask is that I’m still wondering when, if ever, I will feel like a grown up. When I was a teenager, I’d see woman of my age, and think that they were so sorted and that at some point, in your twenties maybe, something changed and you were magically transported into the world of the grown up where you felt totally different.
This is yet to happen! And I’m not alone. I have spoken to several friends and they feel the same, a sort of Peter Pan complex. Although outwardly, I’m responsible and can be pretty mature if needed, (people even trust me with their children!), inside, I still feel like a teenager most of the time. I’m quite happy getting down on the floor to play with my kids, I laugh at silly jokes, I snort when I laugh too much, which makes me laugh even harder and I still seem to repeat the same behaviour patterns of my teenage years, I stay up far too late and am tired and grumpy in the morning and don’t get me started on ‘just a few drinks’ on a night out!!! 😀
It leads me to wonder whether any of these women I used to believe were proper adults, felt the same. From what I’m starting to discover is that you always feel young inside, until something will shock you into realisation, like going on a night out and feeling ancient because everyone else is a child and the outfit you felt on fire hot in is, well, not fashionable in any way! Or looking too closely in the mirror and seeing how old your skin really looks, or get up from an evening watching tv and your hip hurts!
There are some women, however, who seem to have been given the magic key to this mysterious world. They just ooze adult-ness, you know they never loose the vital school letters, they’ve completed their christmas shopping in august, they know how to budget, and meal plan. They also run things. Voluntarily. In their spare time. Which they seem to have despite having lives busier then the prime minister.
It would be very easy to feel inadequete in comparison, I am generally regarded with slight amusement for my scattiness, my only form of meal planning is when I look in the fridge at four pm, I try my absolute hardest to avoid being in charge of anything, I’m not a big fan of organised things in general. I am however, quite a lot of fun. I may be permenantly late but I’m good fun when I do get there, especially if there is wine involved! And I suppose I am more ‘grown up’ then I realise in a lot of ways, I manage the accounts, run a business, I’ve kept two humans alive for five years and I even volunteer in school, and they trust me to run activities without any supervision!
So in conclusion, maybe I too give off the illusion of being a grown up to others, maybe every one of the woman I perceive to be ‘adultier’ then me, actually feels the same inside. I also wonder if I will ever pass over into this ‘land of the grown ups’ myself. As I currently have pink hair and wear tights like this…. 
……I’m not sure it will be anytime soon!! 😀
I’d love to know what you think, does everyone feel young in their heads? How do you feel? And how do you think you are perceived by others?
Urgh, who wants to do Xmas shopping in August? It sounds like you’ve got the balance about right to me.
Amazing post! I read the title and said to my Mr I dont think this one’s for me but Im curious :’) haha! I can totally relate 😀 Im always telling people I cant ‘adult’ well, give me a handful of kids though and I’m right at home, joining in with the games and leading my own miniature pirate crew.. that didnt go down too well at the school I was doing work experience with admittedly as it took us a little longer than usual to calm them all down after break time.. but it was FUN!!! Who seriosuly need’s to adult all the time anyway? I’m always getting looks and comments, especially at the park, as long as I am having a fairly pain-free day Im always the first up the top of the spider man climbing frame calling my 5yo up and running around with the kids like a complete lunatic! xx
Yes! Yes! Yes! Adulting is very hard. I love this post. Totally relate.
Love this! I am 42 with pink, purple, and turquoise hair and still getting tattoos and act like a goof ball most days so much so that my 5 year old son actually pointed out to me that I act like a kid sometimes even though I’m supposed to be the adult. I will forever be young in my mind even if my body tries to remind me otherwise.
You’re deffo in the grown down gang! I love your Tim Burton sleeve. I think my kids find me fun so far but I’m sure I’ll be cripplingly embarrassing very soon. Not that that will stop me! Tweet me a pic of your hair please, sounds amazing!!! 🙂
I totally feel like I’m in my 20’s!
Me too! You can absolutely be in the grown down gang. Lots of members now! 🙂
My parents gave up waiting for me to grow up when I turned 40, but the weird thing is despite my love for all things childlike the phrase an old head on young shoulders has also been applied to me many times in the past xx
I still feel like I’m 18! It sometimes shocks me that I’m 30, married and have two kids!
That’s exactly how I feel!! I wonder if I’ll ever feel my own age!! 🙂
Pink hair is cool! Doesn’t at all say anything about you not being a grown up. I’d colour my hair green, but I’m leaving it silver, because you know, silver is the new black! :p There’s always a little kid in us inside! #fartglitter
Oooh silver is lovely!! You could always do a little green streak for Christmas!! Thank you for your comment, I’m glad to hear that there will always be a little kid inside!! 🙂
Always! 😀 green streak is a good idea!
Commenting again because I love this post and I missed the hashtag on my previous comment! #fartglitter
I’m totally with you on this one. I’m not sure we ever really ‘grow up’, it’s all just an illusion. I too wonder when it will happen. Of course there are the times when I wonder how I became so old all of a sudden! I heard Craig David’s Fill Me In on the radio the other day, the host called it a ‘classic’, and I fell into a heap. That was the day I realised I am officially old! 🙂
#fartglitter
Those tights are genius! I love them. 🙂
Aren’t they lovely! Slugs and snails. They do kids and adults so you can match your children. (Although my girl is too big now.)
Weirdly, I was thinking along these lines earlier! That’s exactly what I was thinking – I’m nowhere near as sorted as I always thought people were who were the age I am now. But, yes, maybe they weren’t either & I just believed they were! Who knows?? #fartglitter
I like to believe that everyone, no matter their actual age, still feels like a giddy teenager! You meet some people in their 80s & you can just tell that they are forever young in spirit. 🙂
Brilliant! Love this post! I can so relate to what you’re saying. I was reading this on the train and had to stifle my laughter at me imagining you snorting with laughter! But love your pink hair and tights – you’re a real grown up because you decide what you want to do and you’re happy with that. #fartglitter
Oh thanks!! That is true I think, I was never so confident in my own skin before. That is a sign of growing up!! I’m glad I livened up your train journey, hopefully we’ll get to snort laugh together one day!! 😀
Your pink hair and tights are AMAZING. I spoke to my mum about this once and she says she still feels like she’s 18 inside. I guess there’s no hope for any of us. Perhaps some are just better at hiding this than others,
Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter x
Thank you! Yes maybe some people are better at acting like grown ups then ummm, me!! 🙂
Oooo I love those tights where did you get them from? Grow up? Sort of corporately I am very grown up and organised, I manage a target of £351m so guess I need to be. At home less so, as a parent probably even less. But I figure if I’m okay in half of my life then I can revert back to 21 every now and again – espically on those oh too rare girls nights out. Xx #FartGlitter xx
Oh wow!!!! That definitely sounds very grown up! I’m glad you have a balance though. It’s absolutely imperative to become 21 again on a girl’s night. 😀 Tights are fab aren’t they? Slugs & snails. They do loads of lush designs, mostly for children but their adult range is growing. Thanks for visiting.xx