Ok I know there are heaps of these out there, but this one is a television guide! (Did you like what I did there!!)
If you are new to parenting and are thinking, (as I used to, absolutely no judging here!), that you will in no way ever need this as you will always be far too busy crafting and baking and expanding your precious little ones’ mind to ever switch on the tv…well maybe just bookmark this for the future and move on! 😉
If not however, (or you have returned to this further down the line!!), I thought I would try and get in there early and try and save you some pain, because once your children like a program, well, you’re a bit stuck, but if you know what to never put on in the first place, you might prevent some future traumas.
I’m going to attempt a countdown of current shows that take precedence over anything I like, from bearable and even sit and watch together territory down to bang your head off the kitchen counter when you hear the theme tune zone. I shall include reasonings.
Top Watch: Topsy and Tim, the perfect twins. Ok ok I know I moan like hell about them over on Facebook, (do come and ‘like’ me by the way!), but actually I do think the program is watchable. I get quite into the storyline and have on occasion,even been known to shush the kiddies so I can find out what happens.
I can’t not vent a few of my frustrations about it though. Why in the hell do Mummy and Daddy host a sodding dinner party the night before they move?! Who does that?? I am usually crying and swearing as I throw all the thousands of items I’ve not packed yet into any random box, any kind of system I started with long gone leaving me with boxes that say kitchen on but only have one saucepan in and a load of bits, meaning that said box(es!!!) languishes in the garage for two, (and a half!), years as it is too complicated to unpack it!
Also, the bloody camping trip. So Topsy, (a girl by the way!), gets tonsillitis and Mummy has to drive her to the hospital, leaving Tim and Daddy and all their camping stuff to get back with their friends’ family in their normal sized car. What the what?! When we go camping, we can barely fit our own kids in, never mind anything or anyone else!
9. Andy’s dinosaur/prehistoric adventures. I hated the other one he did, with the irritating cat. It really bugged me. Then he came back with dinosaurs and now woolly mammoths and I’m loving it, as are the kids. It probably helps that I’m a bit of a dinosaur nerd!
8. Swashbuckle. I actually enjoy this show. Slapstick, pirates, challenges, bad jokes, brilliant! Appeals to my inner child. (Which is apparently not as inner as I like to think. Considering I buy lots of stuff from the kids’ departments. I got an amazing unicorn/rainbow water bottle for the gym in the toy section of TKMaxx the other day. Anyway, I digress!)
7. Bubble Guppies. Honestly, I’ve not technically watched a full episode of this, (I am now very good at being in the same room as the tv and totally tuning out the mindless drivel or irritating squeaky voices, it’s on my CV as a life skill!), but I do have to dance about like mad to the songs. Like this one below. Closest I get to a club these days! 😀
6. Paw Patrol. This one is sliding a bit for me. The magical powers it holds are still wonderful but my gosh. The characters, the plots! There are puppies – that is about the only positive!! Seriously struggling to come up with any more good points. The intelligence levels there are very low. And the mayor, the actual mayor of an entire town has a chicken. A pet chicken that is a bit like her child. That she follows into really stupid dangerous situations blindly. Then the child and the puppies have to save her. Stupid woman! 😉
5. Anything with Justin in. I have really had enough of this man now. He’s oversaturated cbeebies. He annoys me on every level. Also irritating is the fact that he does hold my kids’ attention so wonderfully and so I have been known to tolerate him to get the washing up done, or write this. Possibly!
4. Fireman Sam. Arghhhhh Do Not Get Me Started! The new cgi-ness means they have massive fat lips that look shiny and weird. Then there is Norman. Everything about Norman pees me off. His voice, his rudeness, I can’t stand him. Also, Elvis. The man is so imbecilic that I can’t understand at all how he makes it out of his house let alone holds down a job somewhere as important as a fire station!
3. In the goddamn night garden. There are no words for this really! You’ll get it one day. (Sorry about that.) This is one that even pre-warned about, you are unlikely to be able to avoid completely. Pip pip yuk yuk.
2. Waybulloo and Kate and Mim-mim share this one. Waybuloo drives me mental. I hate programs that don’t speak properly. I spend all my efforts teaching my children to talk and then this stupid program teaches them to communicate in silly noises. Grrr. Kate and Mim-mim is similar. I hate the graphics and all the characters and all their voices.
Top spot. Teletubbies. Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhh why oh why oh why did they resurrect this show?! There is nothing positive I can say about this. If you are around my age you’ll remember it from first time around and I promise you it’s not got any better!
So there you have it. My ranty round up! Funny how quickly is descended into a angry tirade. It’s also made me realise how much tv we watch. Better switch to dvds! 😀
We also take silly selfies during tv time!
If you know anyone who may benefit from these words of experienced wisdom, do share. I’d also love to know whether you agree with me, and which programs you’d add or remove from the guide if not!
Hehe. Come in Lou. Not paying enough attention to tipsy and Tim. It was appendicitis. Lol. Made me giggle.
I love Bubble Guppies and can be heard reciting the song most days. Also the lunchtime song. “What time is it? It’s time for lunch!”
New one here is Wissper from channel 5. Bodhi loves it!
This is our top 5.
5. Thomas and Friends – he’s a proven favourite, an old faithful, can’t go wrong. Teaching us all to be very useful engines.
4.My Little Pony – not the cute 80s ones anymore. No. The new ones are bitchy and catty and have teenage quarrels but then are all friends in the end.
3. Sponge bob square pants – I am still to find out who introduced this to my kids but when I do, someone will pay
2.Wissper – this little cute girl whistles on the panpipes and helps out animal friends
1.paw patrol. Chase on the case is first choice. They can dance, they can drive fire engines, they can mend rail tracks. Nothing they can’t do
It’s when you find yourself watching and the kids have gone off to another part of the house twenty minutes ago. Lol
What did I say?? I knew it was appendicitis really! Oh I hate the my little pony now, they really are awful to each other!! I often get left watching the kids shows, especially the films. They always leave the room as I get really annoyed at them talking over it and me missing bits!!! 😀
Teletubbies!!! Are they still around? My kids used to watch them all the time! Time for Teletubbies! Tubby Toast!! I am so glad we are over the kids TV shows! I feel your pain.
They brought them back! Just the same as before. I think anyway, I can’t bear to have it on!! Time for tubby bye byes argh!!
Oh no…Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink
I’m really loving Andy’s prehistoric adventure! (I have been wondering if this is just a sign that I’ve watched far too much of this stuff and my brain is slowly rotting but I’m reassured that you love it too!)
No, I deffo do love it. We actually want to go and visit the clock!!
Haha I love Topsy & Tim too! Apart from the sad episode with Mossy 🙁 (and I always wonder why is their mum so insanely happy and carefree? What’s her secret!!?!) Kate of Kate and Mim Mim has a very annoying voice particularly before 8 o’clock. But the worse one ever has to be Baby Jake!!!! *shudder*
Oh gawd, Mossy! I swear we were all in tears, it was soooo sad! I don’t mind Baby Jake too much. I think because we don’t see it that much.
I am keeping this for future reference and enjoying this window of time where I can still watch what I like! #coolmumclub
There are so many shows we love to hate. Then there are those we truly hate. And the ones we secretly love. I was a HUGE fan of those little northern cloudbabies…what happened to them?!
Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub where Topsy&Tim bashing is a weekly feature – love it
Oh my goodness – the loathing I built up for Norman bleeding Price is quite worrying. Total moron with a personal fire crew. I have started to feel the same about Paw Patrol – idiotic plot and irritating voices. Hurrumph.
Octonauts is a godsend and I do find Ben & Holly quite funny. What did they do before TV?! Great post xx #coolmumclub
Oh my God this entire post is hilarious! Where do I start? CV. Paw patrol. The whole thing. I don’t know all of these as don’t get British channels in Malta. I really miss kids’ programmes from back home but am thankful we’ve been spared Topsy and Time if Life Love and Dirty Dishes’ post is anything to go by. But how can you not find Fireman Sam hysterical?! Yes Norman’s an annoying twunt and Elvis is a plonker but they crack me up. Sadly my kids don’t want to watch it anymore lol. Loved this post. And erm…look at me actually commenting on the host post before the #BigPinkLink goes live. Mercy me…first time for everything 🙂
I keep telling myself I want to be one of those smug parents who don’t let their children watch television – but looking around me I can see that plonking them in front of a screen can be the only way for a break sometimes. As much as all these shows annoy you, aren’t you glad there are so many to choose from?!
Sorry, forgot #bigpinklink again! Next week I will remember!
Children’s TV can be awful. I did a similar blog post ha ha! My children are past the cbeebies stage & it’s now all about terrible American sitcom style shows argh. #bigpinklink Lifeinthemumslane
Ooh send me a link on Twitter! yes, I think we are not far off moving up to cbbc. Then I’m sure it’ll be the American stuff next. You can’t avoid it!
Teletubbies is the only thing that will attract a solid five minutes of interest around here. My word, it is a bizarre show, but I love to hear my toddler giggle so I’m on board with the weirdness of it all 🙂
My two love the programme that has a Dr and some puppet in it and I can’t remember what it is called but it traumatises me, the song is stuck in my head “be happy, be healthy, get well soon” Grrrrr. I hate it,haha.
This is hilarious I love it! Josh isn’t watching TV yet but oh how I dread some of the awful shows we’ll end up having to watch! Xxx #bigpinklink
My little girl loves in the night garden and teletubbies, there 2 of her favourite shows and probably 2 of my worst. They show the exact same ones all the time and every episode has the same sort of storyline, so annoying #bigpinklink
Fantastic post! You’ve hit the nail on the head with so many of these. Fireman Sam was one of my favourite shows as a kids and they have ruined it for me with the new cgi business, and Norman definfely needs some help…that’s child is a liability!!! Very nice to also read I’m not the only one who gets into the music on these shows!! bubbly guppies “line up” is contagious and I find myself breaking into “paw patrol paw patrol when ever you’re in trouble” quite a lot! And I think adventure bay need a new mayor who doesn’t have mental health issues!!!
Great post Lou-totally see what you did there…!! All Mum’s with kids about to gravitate to needing the tv on need to read this!! We are sooooo with you on teletubbies!! DT hates it too, and shouts ‘turn it off turn it off’ when it comes on!! Justin-dear God I can’t stand that man!!! He needs to exit his career as child entertainer NOW!! I can’t cope with in the night garden, I swear the creepiness sets off my anxiety. We love swashbuckle too-the 2 guys in it are on Twitter, they always engage in conversation if you tweet them!! Thanks for co-hosting with the mosting another exciting week of #bigpinklink!!
Oh we love Bubble Guppies – outside, outside, outside everybody outside… yes i could sing it in my sleep lol Another fave is Paw Patrol, to a degree but then they get bored and go back to Ben and Hollys little Kingdom – I love Nanny plum shes so sarcastic its too funny!
I’m more of a Hey Duggee girl myself!
Can’t stand those twins though…and what kind of a stupid name is Topsy anyway!?
I had a guest blogger do a guide to toddler TV, I just wasn’t prepared to watch them all If you want to compare scores, it’s here: http://www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/2016/01/the-other-mother-guide-to-toddler-tv.html (Bing came last!)
This guide is absolutely crucial! Because some of the cartoons are an absolute no no. You summarise your observations perfectly also very very funny! thanks for sharing and for making me spit out my coffee :)ill go make a new one! #BigPinkLink
Hahaha LOVE IT ! I think there should be a panel of parents at Cbeebies that have to come up with the concept of every new programme. Im four years into Cbeebies now and even the kids run from the room screaming if they hear the night garden theme tune, they are that sick of it! AND dont get me started on Ryders monotone voice and laugh in Paw patrol… Wow! I had no idea how much pent up Cbeebies frustrations have been bubbling under the surface …and breathe…. #BigPinkLink
Two words…Peppa Pig….urggggggh!! Can’t stand it! Always happy to switch over to My Little Pony though! And the bubble guppies line up song is firmly imprinted in my mind! #bigpinklink
We didn’t have a TV before Marianna was born and I don’t know how we managed without it. Staring blankly at the TV in a sleep deprived stupor is my evening activity of choice, while the days are full of endless bright colours bobbing about and singing… We don’t watch too much of the actual kids TV channels because Marianna demands Rainbow DVDs instead. I feel like I could recite every episode on DVD verbatim! x #bigpinklink
The only one I recognise is Teletubbies (from the first time round…shhhhh!) They really did my head in. I would n’t let my kids watch this purely because they didn’t speak properly. I survived Barney the Dinosaur, Dora the Explorer and the Tweenies…that might have been where I gained my nervous disposition #bigpinklink
Okay, I’ve bookmarked this post, we don’t have a TV! Sorry :/ My little one is only 8 months at the moment, but I can see that the TV will be a tool to use in the future! We watch things online at the moment, but between, food, naps and outings I don’t see how we’d fit TV time in. #bigpinklink
My boys love Swashbuckle. They cheer at the TV with that one.
I don’t know what it is about Paw Patrol…it just sucks them in, my eldest wanted the toys for Christmas but I managed to persuade him to ask Father Christmas for something else as they looked like expensive rubbish.
Whenever my boys whinge about having to wash their hands, I tell them to be thankful I don’t ask them to “double wash” them like Topsy and Tims mum!
#BigPinkLink
This is funny! I quite like Waybuloo (or however you spell it!), it’s the only program my son will watch where he drops everything and I get a little break whilst he watches it!!
I don’t mind must programs actually, it’s the presenters I can’t handle. They are way too happy, it’s not needed at half 6 in the morning!!
Seriously, how is Norman in a junior remand centre for hopeless delinquents?? #bigpinklink
I seriously can’t believe they bought Teletubbies back, unfortunately my little loves it! We quite like Andy’s prehistoric adventures too 🙂 Our toddler has recently taken quite a liking to Disney Juniors so our her current favourites are Doc McStuffins and Sofia the first. Thank you for hosting #bigpinklink x
ha ha – this post and all the comments of you gorgeous mummies with toddlers has really made me smile! I feel your pain – but trust me its not long till you can watch rubbish with your kids that you’ll secretly love – gossip girl, made in chelsea – not that i’m giving anything away about my viewing with my teenagers!
My oldest used to watch Blue Clues and my youngest used to watch Wow Wow Wubzy and Wonder Pets, lol! That brings back memories. I actually loved Wow Wow Wubbzy:-) Thanks so much for hosting #bigpinklink
Aria isn’t quite old enough for T.V just yet but when my little sister comes to stay (she’s 8), she always want to watch Scooby Doo. When she leaves I have the theme tune dancing around my head for days! I am looking for to watching all the Disney films again but not so much the cartoons! #bigpinklink
I’m not subjected to these shows, but it tickles me to no end to hear friends talk about having to watch them. Your take on them is hilarious! Thank you for sharing and being a fabulous hostess of #BigPinkLink!
Ah… don’t get me started! I can’t abide how bad some of these guys are at their jobs, and yet they are allowed to continue for year after year long after they should have been sacked. Like Postman Pt – I mean, he seems like a nice enough fella but surely the world’s worst postman!? My all-time worst is Mike the Knight. He is the worst!!! He brought out a blog post in me – I think we all watch way too much of this stuff not to have strong views 😉
x Alice
#bigpinklink
Topsy and Tim was a book in my day no idea about the tv show though I can barely get my little one to sit in front of the tv…oh how I’ve tried. Although I must say the only thing that kind of holds her attention is rah rah the noisey bloody lion and In that bloody night garden! In fact it’s on now…so I can do important tasks, ya know like blogging… My comment couldn’t really example better parenting could it?! I will heed your advice and look to stay away from the new teletubbies though! #bigpinklink x
Urgh my 4yr old has been obsessed with The Gruesome Twosome (Topsy & Tim) ever since they appeared on CBeebies. Watching it, ‘playing’ it ( tormenting her poor brother), reading it, talking about it, I ‘m sick to death of them but there’s no sign of any let up. While we’re in the subject, is it just me who watched the entire Series One waiting for them to FINALLY move into their new house only to be sorely disappointed to have to wait until the next series to see them actually move in ? Don’t even get me started on their Mother. I also hate myself a bit for picking up on the ‘tonsillitis/appendicitis’ mix up. Give me Nanny Plum any day!
#bigpinklink
LOVED THIS!! Could’ve written this myself. My son is currently watching Mr Tumble as I type. Topsy and Tim, is like a mini soap opera for kids, although I can’t bear their perfect suburbia life, WHY DO THOSE KIDS NEVER PLAY UP AND WHY IS HER HOUSE SO CLEAN AND TIDY? Don’t get me started on Teletubbies, that should’ve been left in the 90’s along with the obsession over Sunny Delight drinks. #bigpinklink
In my house is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Princess Sophia, PJ Masks, or anything superheroes as my 4 year old girl LOVES superheroes and would particularly prefer to watch movies over cartoons. Thanks so much for hostessing #bigpinklink.
Haha! I need to bookmark this! I’m still getting away with just having This Morning and Homes under the Hammer on, ha! I notice In the Night Garden’s not in there?! #bigpinklink
I LOVE this! Topsy and Tim drives me insane – their mum never mutters “for fucks sake” under her breath so really – how realistic is this show?! Bubble Guppies gets you with the music but really – it’s a pile of shite. I have to admit we are fans of Fireman Sam in this house but I have to leave the room when I hear Norman say “Oh Maaaaaaaaaaam!” thanks for hosting #bigpinklink again. Sorry for the profanity in my comment 😉
None of these have crossed my path just yet as our little one is too young, but this is a great informative list. I actually thought it was a list of programs that new mums could watch ha ha. Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink, love it. Claire x
We’ve moved from CBeebies to Tiny Pop on Freeview, so my days are filled with My Little Pony, Chirp, Justin Time, Maya the Bee etc. Although my 7yo is now into CBBC shows like The Dumping Ground and Dixi. I’ve banned my son from watching Postman Pat, Fireman Sam, Tip the Mouse, Horrid Henry, and Dennis the Menace because I either get too angry at them, or my son only seems to take top tips on how to tantrum and not learn the moral lesson at the end of it lol.
Oh no! You have just started the bubble guppies song “outside, outside, come on every body outside” going round my head just after I had got rid of it! I do actually use that marching rhyme to get my tribe moving!!! Lovely post! #bigpinklink
Wait until they start watching run throughout of computer games on YouTube often hosted by really annoying, overly enthusiastic people. It’s like nails down a blackboard for me. That’s why we made the spare room into a playroom, now I can send them upstairs!
Haha love this and how much notice you have taken of these programmes! I have learned to well and truly zone out!!!! #bigpinklink
I have to say I don’t mind Topsy and Tim either, they are annoyingly good and the dad does my head in, but I can handle it. Justin on the other hand… ARGH! I don’t mind Gigglebitz but anything else makes me want to punch the TV. Love Andy\s Dinosaur Adventures, and am rather partial to the Go Jetter’s theme tune! Great list, thanks for hosting #bigpinklink xx
Haha! How sad is it that I wanted to say right away that it was appendicitis too! Controversial one there, I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t hate Topsy and Tim. Agree with most of the rest though 🙂 #bigpinklink
lol yes the viewing selection on the tv changes greatly after having children. You can’t argue with the magical powers of paw patrol but yes it can get frustrating. Worst part for me is when the theme song gets stuck in my head for hours! Thanks so much for hosting the big pink link x
I have to admit I do love some of these, but Justin is massively overrated and irritating. I thought clowns were yesterday’s news, but somehow this very average individual seems to hold the little ones rapt. I just don’t get it. #bigpinklink
I’ve bookmarked this for the future! My baby is due soon but I hope that by the time they’re old enough for TV, the Teletubbies will have disappeared again. I couldn’t stand them first time around! #bigpinklink
Teletubbies and I.T.N.G are beyond words: they should not exist. Bring back Tots TV and Rosie and Jim, they were real programs that were actually educational! Xxx
When bubble guppies first came to Nickelodeon I was ugh another kid show but then I watched an episode and I couldn’t stop. Now those darn teletubbies can drown in a bath tub because they have absolutely no purpose.
I have a soft spot for the teletubbies – sorry ! My eldest is now 12 and she loved it first time aroundand was mesmerised by it . #bigpinklink
I quite like Peppa Pig and Ben and Hollie. Paw Patrol has grown on me a little. The one I really hate is Blaze and the Monster Machines. I find that irritating beyond anything.
#bigpinklink
Just popped back for #bigpinklink and thought I’d tell you at my baby sensory class she did a creepy puppet show with teletubbies, they had one on each side of the puppet! They just get everywhere, I can’t avoid them. Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink
Haha, brilliant post, I shall definitely have to bear these in mind when A is old enough to start taking an interest in tv! I’ve seen 2 minutes of In The Night Garden and it terrified me. I’d love to avoid that one if I can, or at least for as long as I can!! #bigpinklink
Ah the joys of kids tv. I’m a child of the 70s so I remember when the programmes were only on at certain times of the day. It must have been both a blessing and a curse for parents.
You have named quite a few of the ones I am not keen on (hate, really), anything with Justin in, Teletubbies and In the Night Garden. I have often wondered whether an addiction to mood changing drugs is a pre-requisite for working in kids telly!
I like Topsy and Tim and Peppa and I’m a big fan of Bing and Charlie and Lola. The worst thing we have ever done is introduce the youngest to the joys of YouTube via the Smart tv 🙁 I never knew how many versions of The Finger Family you can find …..
Argh I’m with you on the dislike of Justin Fletcher, the man makes my skin crawl! #bigpinklink
Haha! Yeah, what the hell is Waybulloos? Thankfully, mine don’t really care about it. They do like Teletubbies, Night Garden & Justin Fletcher. They don’t really watch Topsy & Tim either, but toddler does quite like it if it’s on. The moving ones bug me too – a dinner party the night before, and inviting the neighbourhood kids into your new house the day you arrive while you unpack. Ridiculous! #bigpinklink
Brilliant list lol! I cannot explain how pleased I am that my son has grown out of the living nightmare that is Night Garden. Not only is it moronic but it’s so blimmin’ LONG! Anyhoo, that’s over for us thank gawd. Thanks for sharing 🙂 #bigpinklink
LOL! Me and the other half used to have dinner time conversations about what Iggle Piggle and Upsy Daisy had been up to that day. Luckily our boys have moved on from that one. And Kate and Mim Mim and Topsy and Tim, don’t get me started. Even the kids hate those shows (I think ‘everything’s Rosie’ is on the same annoying level!).
They still love Fireman Sam and that annoying ‘Kerwhizz’ (they even act out doing the races!). But their ultimate repetitive viewing at the moment is Scooby Doo, bizarrely. The original 60s and 70s one no less! It’s so badly drawn and written but they love it for some reason!! #bigpinklink
I agree! But although I hate In the night garden, I do like it… It means it’s bedtime and that is something H understands. The whole changing scales drives me mad, but I hate to say I’ve gotten used to it Fab post and thanks for hosting (can’t see my comment from Monday so you might have two from me!) #bigpinklink
Ha ha since getting into the later months of my pregnancy I am definitely relying on the TV more. Paw Patrol is a favourite in our house and Monkey has now decided he wants me to pull a party out of the bag in a paw patrol theme …really?! Ekk. Thank you for hosting #BIgPinkLink sorry my comment has taken son long! Off to join this weeks now x
It’s all about Andy’s Prehistoric/Dinosaur Adventures and Go Jetters here, although he has also enjoyed the new Danger Mouse as well. We’ll have to see what he agrees with his baby sister when she’s old enough to express a preference.
We love Andy! Not discovered gojetters yet, any good?? My daughter was quite happy to go back to iggle piggle etc for a bit.
Go Jetters is watchable, and has some geography in, so it’s educational, but our lad is obsessed, so it does get a bit repetitive. 🙂