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I’m a terrible housewife. An apology to my husband.

Housewife. Such a 1950s term isn’t it? Housewife, homemaker, stay at home Mum, whatever you want to call it, I suck at it!


This is the sort of housewife I have in mind! Although I am pretty good at cakes!

Technically I am a work at home Mum, but as my husband works out of the home all day, most of the jobs fall to me. And I’m rubbish at them.

Here I shall outlay the things I am mostly responsible for and the reasons I am crap at them!

Cooking. I can’t cook. Not well anyway. I have zero inspiration for cooking and have no idea what to make. When I do attempt recipes, they just go a bit wrong somehow. I would love to be the sort of person that can look in the cupboards and create something amazing out of what’s in there. I can’t! We have had some very very odd combinations of dinners as a result. I do try and cook from scratch a lot though, so that counts for something right? Even if it is verging on the inedible! I’m doing better then my own Mum though, who has asked me how to cook rice and once created the legendary Christmas Dinner leftover; Brussel Sprout Lasagne. Considering they were grey on the day, you can just imagine them after re-cooking!

Cooking meat. I find this very difficult! I’m a vegetarian so can’t try anything and worry a lot about poisoning everyone so I tend to overcook it.

Meal planning. I want to be able to meal plan. Seriously, it’s a goal of mine. But I sit down to start and the inspiration just isn’t there. And then I can only think of the same stock 5 meals I always make and the idea of then working out exactly what I need to buy to prevent me needing to pop to the local shop every day for forgotten ingredients, forget it!!

Food Shopping. Oh the bane of my life. We have a midweek delivery pass. Do I ever remember to get it in on time? Do I hell! And then I am stuck either paying a fortune for the delivery or waiting until the following week, ‘making do’, hence the odd meal combos and regular visits to the shop around the corner.

Washing. Argh the washing! This is probably worse then food shopping actually. There is just so much of it. And sometimes I put a wash on and forget about it for a day, (or two!), resulting in a need to rewash. Ok, ok, often not sometimes. Then if I do get it washed and dried, it will be creased to hell and need ironing. So will sit in the ‘ironing basket’ or more accurately, ‘the basket of clothes we will never wear again’. By the time it is folded and returned to the bedrooms, there will be just as much waiting for me again. Gah!

Sorting out the too small clothes. These clothes will somehow end up in a cycle of being worn, deemed too small, washed for charity shop, accidentally returned to rooms and worn again. Repeat times infinity.

Cleaning. The main thing that annoys me about cleaning is that the minute I’ve finished, wherever I started will look as if I’ve not been there. We are lucky enough to have a cleaner once a week but it lasts about a day before looking exactly like it was before.

De-cluttering. This has been on my to do list since the dawn of time. I am by nature a hoarder. ‘Just in case, you never know, it might come in useful’ are my catch phrases. I am from a long line of hoarders and I seem to have passed this gene on to my children. Every now and then I will clear a room and it will feel amazing but it won’t take long until stuff starts creeping back in.

Finishing what I start. I am a nightmare for getting distracted! I don’t mean to but my brain is often occupied by work things and I will usually start something with great intent and then remember something else I needed to do urgently (or someone will need me that minute!) and wander off, leaving chaos in my wake.

So in conclusion, I am a terrible housewife, I do however, make a mean cake and my puddings are top notch. Plus I’m lots of fun so it’s not all bad for him.

Also, don’t think from this that I am some poor, hard done by woman, my husband does pull his weight when he’s home. Well, he has to if he wants to eat, wear clean clothes or move in the house! Someone has to follow behind me finishing my jobs! 😀




  1. June 11, 2017 / 5:39 am

    omg, I could have written this, its exactly me!!! I’m glad I’m not the only one! really enjoyed reading this! x

  2. June 12, 2017 / 12:44 pm

    Decluttering – forever on my to do list! You are not alone on this bad housewife stuff! x

  3. July 21, 2017 / 7:06 am

    I agree 100% that you’re terrible housewife. But you’re a damn good blogger!

    • July 21, 2017 / 4:00 pm

      Oh thank you so much!!!! That’s the loveliest comment ever!

  4. anthony harrington
    December 24, 2017 / 7:47 am

    I love reading articles like this, great to compare how the household chores are a struggle and funny comparing to the
    role of Housewife in the 50’s.

  5. March 29, 2018 / 7:29 am

    Oh goodness – this is exactly my life!! (Though when I do eventually get the “too small” clothes into a bag for charity – they sit in the bag on the floor in the hallway for a good few months before being taken to the charity shop!)

    • March 29, 2018 / 9:58 am

      Yes!!!! And then the kids ‘rediscover’ it and start wearing them again! It’s a nightmare!!!! I’m so glad you can relate.

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