I’ve been thinking a lot recently, and I came to a conclusion the other day, it was a bit of a revelation really. I’m a really good Mum because I try my best.
I really do. And I don’t always get it right, I don’t think that anyone does, but that’s just normal life. There are days when I am too shouty, when I’m tired and have no energy, when I’ve not done enough washing and they have to wait for their clothes to tumble dry before we can go out, but that’s ok, because there are other days when I am calm and patient, have their outfits laid out for them, when we do baking from scratch and when I take them on amazing imagination adventures.
Often I don’t know what I am cooking for dinner, but they never go hungry. When I have no energy, we have movie afternoons and I wrap them in blankets and we watch a film together cuddling. I could beat myself up for not being the ‘perfect’ Mum (what that is I’m not sure but I definitely taunt myself with it at times!), but actually, I’m their Mum, and I love them with all my heart and would do absolutely anything for their happiness, which is really all that matters.
I have spent many an hour beating myself up for all the times when I thought I was a terrible Mum to them, when I had Postnatal Depression for example, but actually, when I look back on photos of that time, they look happy. They are clean, and well fed and smiling. I think we can always taunt ourselves with the things we could be doing and don’t give ourselves enough credit for the things we do actually do for them every single day.
Talking to teachers when they have a problem at school, changing nappies, wiping bottoms, wiping noses, buying their favourite snacks, changing their bedding, making doctor’s appointments, doling out cuddles, listening to woes, reading stories, tying laces, brushing hair, tickling, waking in the night to protect from monsters, emptying the dishwasher and helping with homework, all seemingly small gestures but so important.
These little things become a part of our every day fabric, we do them so often that we no longer see them for what they are, multiple acts of love. Instead of dwelling on our perceived shortcomings, we should celebrate these many many tiny achievements of Motherhood.
It is easy to fall into the trap of seeing everyone else’s highlight reel and feeling that you’re not measuring up, especially on social media, (which is why I try to be incredibly honest here and on my instagram and facebook), but actually, a highlight reel is just that, the high points of a day which might for the other 20 hours have been very mundane and boring, just like most days are!
So I’m going to stand up and say that I am a good Mum. I try my best, I love my children, I’m not perfect, but no one is and that’s ok because although I’m not the perfect magazine Mum, I’m the perfect Mum for them.
I think you should stand up and do the same!
Lovely post Louise. You are an amazing mum and I can see from reading your blog that you’ve had a lot to cope with over the years, and you’re still the perfect mummy to your children and I’m sure they wouldn’t change a thing. And that’s what matters.
Nat.x
Just as long as we try our best each day that’s what matters. We’ve woken up this morning (super early) and watching films under a duvet on inset day and it’s bliss x #BigPinkLink x
I love this post. All Mum’s need to remember how good they are. We try and yes sometimes we fail but we try. #bigpinklink
Fabulous post. I think all us mum’s are guilty of berating ourselves for not being good enough when the truth is we are doing an amazing job. If your kids are happy, healthy and reasonably well adjusted (their kids after all), you’re doing it right #bigpinklink x
Hi, lovely post the photos say otherwise such happy genuine pictures as long as you do your best and your children are happy that is all that counts #bigpinklink
Trying is the most important part of parenting! #bigpinklink
Couldn’t agree more, we were speaking to some first time young mums at the weekend who were all worrying about not doing ‘it’ right, breastfeeding, bottlefeeding, sleep routines the lot. We seem to start as soon as baby is born thinking we are not doing ‘it’ right, thinking we are not ‘good’ parents but the mere fact we are all worrying about whether we are doing ‘it’ right means YES we are doing ‘it’ right! I’m with you standing right beside you ‘We are good mums’ xx #bigpinklink
Hear hear! I think you’re doing an amazing job, so hats off to you for standing up and recognising yourself! #bigpinklink
Yes! A lot of parenthood is monotonous and repetitive but there are real highlights that make the rest worthwhile. #bigpinklink
Great post, I definitely agree. As long as the children are happy and healthy that’s the main thing 🙂 #BigPinkLink
So many of us try to be the perfect mum but it’s true they don’t exist do they?! #BigPinkLink
Yes Louise! I am the worst for beating myself and thinking I’m doing a rubbish job but recently I have been trying my best focus on all the little hints that I do do instead of dwelling on the things that I don’t. Love this post xx #bigoinklink
#ILoveFrozen and this article x