Honestly, 100% truth? I didn’t want a boy. I mean obviously I just wanted a healthy baby but if I could choose, a boy wouldn’t have been on my wishlist.
Sound awful? Well, I do agree, but in my experiences, boys were noisy, smelly, always dirty, wild, out of control and usually with a ball, or stick, (or both!), in hand, going around whacking or kicking stuff. In all honesty, I found them a little scary! I am not sporty, am fairly girlie, I like reading, watching films, being calm and am not a massive fan of mud.
When I was expecting my first, I was convinced I was having a boy, and even had a dream about a little boy and was certain it was my baby communicating with me. She wasn’t!! 😀 Once I’d got over the shock of hearing she was a girl at the scan, (yes we found out, both times, and I don’t regret it a bit!), I have to admit that my overriding feeling was of relief. I know girls, I am a girl, and she lived up to all my expectations, sleeping like a dream, sitting beautifully in her highchair in cafes and being sweet and charming and sitting down and doing activities with me for long periods of time.
Twenty two months later and our world was turned upside down….by a, gasp, boy! He was a totally different baby, he cried, a LOT. He was very clingy, wouldn’t ever be put down and if I dared take him to a cafe, he would most definitely not sit still! I once caught him by the ankle just inches from the floor as he’d escaped his straps and sprung out head first!
He couldn’t be bribed by cake. He liked food and ate like a horse but didn’t see the need to eat it in one place, or even whilst being on the ground, (what is it with sitting on tables?!), in short, he was a nightmare to take out and we gradually phased out our lovely mornings spent in warm cosy cafes in favour of takeaway coffees on a bench in the park, big girl and I huddled on a bench eating our beloved cake and small boy running laps of the playground, passing by for bites every few minutes. It was a totally different experience.
He’s three now, and I have learnt some truths about life with my boy.
He is smelly. He loves farting, finds it hilarious and can’t seem to contain them. At all, in any situation, including in confined places. Like aeroplanes.
He is always dirty. He creates twice as much washing as anyone else. He often goes through two changes in a day. Top to toe. And not from accidents, he’s fully toilet trained, this dirt is from two footed jumps into large muddy puddles, rolls through ditches and eating whilst sat on the table.
He is so noisy. Seriously. Loud. He shouts most of the time, (to the point I was going to take him for a hearing test!), he sings all the time, songs of his own composition. Loud, noisy songs which often have rude words in and culminate in a giggling collapse to the floor.
He is wild, often running around waving a massive stick and screaming like something out of Lord of the Flies as he charges his sister. He also can’t seem to hear me when he crosses into this caveman mentality. So I am that mother, harassed and screeching at a crazy stick wielding speck in the distance.
He is always whacking and kicking stuff. Why?! Either with a stick or his boot. He just can’t help himself. He isn’t doing it maliciously or in anger but he just cannot stop! Doing any indoor activities with big girl are reserved for his nap time as he will destroy anything he isn’t involved in.
So that is the negative, but of course there is a happy ending, and if anyone is nervous about their impending boy arriving, please read on.
He is funny. Really really funny. His humour is brilliant and he is a natural comedian.
He is so so so sweet. Really affectionate, physically gentle, loves cuddles, will hold my face gently in both hands and turn it towards him and very seriously tell me how much he loves me. He has also starting telling me he will ‘keep me forever’. Even when he has been a tear-your-hair-out nightmare for the rest of the day, he knows exactly how to turn it round with this adorable, heart smooshing sweetness.
He is helpful, so so helpful. He wants to do any jobs that look ‘heavy’ or ‘difficult’. He has been a gentleman from day dot and pulls out chairs for my friends, holds doors for strangers and will always offer to carry bags for people. If you are feeling poorly, he will go to find a blanket to cover you over and stroke your hair.
He is gorgeous. Seriously adorably gorgeous with long lashed eyes and a cheeky smile that rights all wrongs.
So in conclusion, although I was dreading it, and all the things that scared me are totally true, the truth about boys is that they rock! They are absolutely awesome beings and I’m proud to be a mum of a boy. Even a smelly, noisy, crazy, grubby one who can’t stop shouting, is obsessed with sticks, is sports mad already and will spend far too much time at meals standing on his chair or sitting on the table! 😉