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The truth about boys.

Honestly, 100% truth? I didn’t want a boy. I mean obviously I just wanted a healthy baby but if I could choose, a boy wouldn’t have been on my wishlist.

Sound awful? Well, I do agree, but in my experiences, boys were noisy, smelly, always dirty, wild, out of control and usually with a ball, or stick, (or both!), in hand, going around whacking or kicking stuff. In all honesty, I found them a little scary! I am not sporty, am fairly girlie, I like reading, watching films, being calm and am not a massive fan of mud.

When I was expecting my first, I was convinced I was having a boy, and even had a dream about a little boy and was certain it was my baby communicating with me. She wasn’t!! 😀 Once I’d got over the shock of hearing she was a girl at the scan, (yes we found out, both times, and I don’t regret it a bit!), I have to admit that my overriding feeling was of relief. I know girls, I am a girl, and she lived up to all my expectations, sleeping like a dream, sitting beautifully in her highchair in cafes and being sweet and charming and sitting down and doing activities with me for long periods of time.

Twenty two months later and our world was turned upside down….by a, gasp, boy! He was a totally different baby, he cried, a LOT. He was very clingy, wouldn’t ever be put down and if I dared take him to a cafe, he would most definitely not sit still! I once caught him by the ankle just inches from the floor as he’d escaped his straps and sprung out head first!

He couldn’t be bribed by cake. He liked food and ate like a horse but didn’t see the need to eat it in one place, or even whilst being on the ground, (what is it with sitting on tables?!), in short, he was a nightmare to take out and we gradually phased out our lovely mornings spent in warm cosy cafes in favour of takeaway coffees on a bench in the park, big girl and I huddled on a bench eating our beloved cake and small boy running laps of the playground, passing by for bites every few minutes. It was a totally different experience.

He’s three now, and I have learnt some truths about life with my boy.

He is smelly. He loves farting, finds it hilarious and can’t seem to contain them. At all, in any situation, including in confined places. Like aeroplanes.

He is always dirty. He creates twice as much washing as anyone else. He often goes through two changes in a day. Top to toe. And not from accidents, he’s fully toilet trained, this dirt is from two footed jumps into large muddy puddles, rolls through ditches and eating whilst sat on the table.

He is so noisy. Seriously. Loud. He shouts most of the time, (to the point I was going to take him for a hearing test!), he sings all the time, songs of his own composition. Loud, noisy songs which often have rude words in and culminate in a giggling collapse to the floor.

He is wild, often running around waving a massive stick and screaming like something out of Lord of the Flies as he charges his sister. He also can’t seem to hear me when he crosses into this caveman mentality. So I am that mother, harassed and screeching at a crazy stick wielding speck in the distance.

He is always whacking and kicking stuff. Why?! Either with a stick or his boot. He just can’t help himself. He isn’t doing it maliciously or in anger but he just cannot stop! Doing any indoor activities with big girl are reserved for his nap time as he will destroy anything he isn’t involved in.

So that is the negative, but of course there is a happy ending, and if anyone is nervous about their impending boy arriving, please read on.

He is funny. Really really funny. His humour is brilliant and he is a natural comedian.

He is so so so sweet. Really affectionate, physically gentle, loves cuddles, will hold my face gently in both hands and turn it towards him and very seriously tell me how much he loves me. He has also starting telling me he will ‘keep me forever’. Even when he has been a tear-your-hair-out nightmare for the rest of the day, he knows exactly how to turn it round with this adorable, heart smooshing sweetness.

He is helpful, so so helpful. He wants to do any jobs that look ‘heavy’ or ‘difficult’. He has been a gentleman from day dot and pulls out chairs for my friends, holds doors for strangers and will always offer to carry bags for people. If you are feeling poorly, he will go to find a blanket to cover you over and stroke your hair.

He is gorgeous. Seriously adorably gorgeous with long lashed eyes and a cheeky smile that rights all wrongs.

So in conclusion, although I was dreading it, and all the things that scared me are totally true, the truth about boys is that they rock! They are absolutely awesome beings and I’m proud to be a mum of a boy. Even a smelly, noisy, crazy, grubby one who can’t stop shouting, is obsessed with sticks, is sports mad already and will spend far too much time at meals standing on his chair or sitting on the table! 😉
















  1. diaryofuem
    January 6, 2016 / 1:46 pm

    It’s funny,because all those things you wrote as negatives I still see as positives. I fear having a girl, I’m not sure why. But I definitely always knew I’d be a mum of a boy. Ironically I dreamed I had a girl when pregnant!
    I often say if we had had a girl I probably would have wanted another baby by now, haha.

    • January 6, 2016 / 2:00 pm

      So many people say the same! If I had my boy first I’m sure we’d have a (much!) bigger gap!! 😀 Thing is, both are great, and my girl loves princesses yes, but equally loves a good fart joke, a jump in the puddles, getting muddy & being very loud. So they’re not a million miles apart. He’s just that step wilder!! 😀

  2. January 6, 2016 / 2:28 pm

    As one of three daughters, I really wanted my first child to be a girl. Only because I thought I’d have more of an idea what I was doing! (probably wouldn’t have). So I was a little disappointed when I was told we were definitely having a boy. I have to say though he’s turned out to be very calm and sweet, not yet a “throw himself in the mud” type although I expect that will come soon enough! And, like your son, the couple of times I’ve had to lie on the sofa and told him mummy didn’t feel very well, he’s brought me cushions, pulled up my blanket, climbed up to give me a kiss, and then climbed back down and ignored me (it’s the initial thought that counts!).
    If we have another one and it’s another boy, then that’s it. I’m not risking three boys! 😉 Although it would be nice to know there will always be three men somewhere who love me best 🙂

    • January 6, 2016 / 6:11 pm

      I have a few friends with 3 boys & they are very happy! My mum is one of 3 girls & with me being the only child of the next generation & then having a girl first, we were all very female orientated, we’ve all had to adjust!! 😀

      He is quite likely to jump on me once he’s fetched pillows & blankets for me but you’re right, it is the initial thought that counts! 🙂

      Here’s to all us mamas muddling through the mud! (As it may well happen to you too soon!)

  3. January 6, 2016 / 4:35 pm

    He sounds absolutely gorgeous! It’s lovely to read all your thoughts and feelings about little man 🙂 thanks for making me smile! #abitofeverything

    • January 6, 2016 / 6:12 pm

      Oh you’re most welcome. He is super lush. Drives me crackers half the time then melts my heart the other half! 🙂

  4. January 6, 2016 / 6:04 pm

    Aaah, I didn’t know you felt like that about having a boy!! I was the same if I’m honest… And I have 2!! I was ok when we found out DT was a boy, because there was a part of me that thought we’d hopefully have a girl next time, plus I was already convinced he was a boy, so wasn’t too surprised! But I was also convinced MA was a girl, and I even asked the sonographer to check again! She said there had been no mistaking he was definitely a boy! I cried on and off for the rest of my pregnancy… I am ashamed of this, but I’m so girly, I’m all pink and flowers, tulle, princesses and ballet! Knowing I’d never take a daughter to a ballet class, or wedding dress shopping, makes me so sad! And my boys have always been terrible in cafes, and DT was so clingy… They are attracted to mud and mess like magpies to shiny things!! They already love football, cars, and all the things I hate. They couldn’t be more boyish if they tried! I will always be sad I don’t have a girl, but it clearly wasn’t meant to be. I love them to death, but there will always be something missing for me.

    • January 6, 2016 / 6:16 pm

      Oh lovey! I can understand how you feel but equally, my daughter isn’t very girlie either. She hated ballet, is as big a fan of rude word songs as him & can get pretty darn muddy too. I hadn’t even thought about the wedding dress thing. The good part is, you can have a fabulous relationship with your future daughter in laws, get to go dress shopping with them aaaand, not endure the rudeness that I always showed my poor mum at her terrible taste in dresses! 😉 I’m so sorry you feel like something will always be missing. Big hug.xx

  5. January 6, 2016 / 8:41 pm

    bahaha I’m so glad you wrote all the positive things at the end! I have a girl and kind of want another one! I was a bit scared of a boy but if it happens it sounds like there are so many pros! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst and see you soon xx

  6. January 8, 2016 / 11:53 am

    This is an accurate description of my children…except I had a boy first who was quiet and calm and thoughtful and loving….and then a monster, sorry I mean a girl. We stopped going out because she was uncontrollable. She climbed everything and like yours I have many memories of catching her by the ankle. But when she grew older she changed into a lovely young woman, and still is. We are shopping for a wedding dress woohoo! It’s twice as much fun as you can imagine. I feel a blog post developing lol xx

    • January 10, 2016 / 11:32 am

      Oh I’d love to read that post! Yes maybe it is just second children in general then! He is such a sweetie but my goodness so full of energy! Enjoy every moment of wedding planning. It all goes by so fast! Hope she finds ‘the one’ soon & let me know when you write that post! 🙂

  7. January 8, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    I have 2 boys and I wanted girls both times. I will never do any girly things with the daughter I always wanted *sad face* but I’m actually quite glad as I don’t know if I could handle a mini me running about, and doing their hair everyday lol #abitofeverything

    Pauline x

  8. January 9, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    Its funny, when I was pregnant I desperately wanted boys. Because I’m not a girly girl. I have two brothers and have always been more at home in a puddle of mud than a beauty parlour, the idea of having a girl and having to learn all that girl stuff terrified me.
    Thanks for sharing my dear, Tracey xx #abitofeverything xx

  9. January 10, 2016 / 11:21 am

    What a gorgeous post…I know Sarah has already commented but the title made me want to read, especially being a mum of a boy!! Your little one sounds much like my Alfie, the farting, the loudness, the cheekiness and general just boyishness (if that is even a word!). Boys are great but my word they keep you on your toes. #bestandworst

    • January 10, 2016 / 1:59 pm

      Oh thank you Helen! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Boyishness is a great word and encompasses it all I think!! I’m glad I’m not the only one to find a boy exhausting!!! 🙂

  10. January 11, 2016 / 2:37 pm

    Lovely post. I have one of each but I think my girl is currently more ‘boyish’ than my boy! x

    • admin
      January 15, 2016 / 8:40 pm

      So glad you like the post! I was a real tom boy growing up, always up trees and building dens. I got more girlie in my teens but still consider myself to be pretty tom boyish. I just like climbing trees and having pretty hair and the same time!! 😀

  11. Cathy
    January 15, 2016 / 12:09 pm

    I have 9 ,14 yrs. old luckily both boys, they are the most loving,caring ,responsible ,not really smart but top of their classes .Easy to talk ,no drama ,hate shopping, all games in internet , hilarious ,all the love for me . The truth is they will always hug and kiss and tell you that your d most beautiful mom . I love your blog “boys will be boys” the thing is sometime s i dress like them shirt short pants and messy hair “)

    • admin
      January 15, 2016 / 8:38 pm

      Oh this is so lovely, your boys sound wonderful. Very well brought up from the sounds of it!! I know already my baby will be super loving and get more so every day. The things he comes out with are gorgeous and heart melting. Glad you like the blog. 🙂

  12. January 15, 2016 / 12:18 pm

    They are all as you say! They can be so loving that all is forgiven very quickly. But I must say my 2 are easily bribed by Cake…must be in the genes! Heehee. I was the opposite – I was worried when I found out I was expecting my daughter because I was and still am very tomboyish. But my daughter has helped bring out the feminity in me! I have learnt to like a lot more girly stuff. Isn’t it funny? Oh and a warning about boys, mine always forgets to bring stuff for school or what’s on at school. We’ll reach school and everyone is dressed up for some special occasion and he’ll say, “That’s right, Mum, we have something on today…” We had a special mums group where the mums would update each other because all of our boys would never remember anything!! What a lovely post about having a son.

    • admin
      January 15, 2016 / 8:36 pm

      Oh thank you, I’m glad you like it. I have definitely got more into hair etc since having my girl. She wants all these styles now!! I am fully aware that boys may not consider these vital bits of school info so important. The school seem to realise this too because we get umpteen emails with ridiculous amounts of info in every few days. Monday is maths fancy dress, yes really!! They both have wonderful, (and not so brilliant!!), qualities! 😀

      • January 15, 2016 / 10:06 pm

        Oh yes! The hairdresser role! I have had to learn that one too! But now that she’s older, she’s helping to style mine! Maths Fancy Dress??

        • admin
          January 15, 2016 / 10:18 pm

          Yes. Exactly!!! Maths?!?!?! Just doesn’t seem to go with the fun element of fancy dress somehow! 😀

  13. February 15, 2016 / 4:01 pm

    HAHA. this is brilliant. My first was a boy. I wanted a girl. Boo. I now have 3 boys and thankfully one girl to mix things up a bit and you are so spot on. Boys are all about farting, and willie jokes and doing guy stuff…..It must be in their DNA because they sure as hell don’t get it from me or their dad. Fun times.

  14. Hannah
    April 15, 2016 / 10:22 am

    I’m the mum of two boys. My experience is so different. I grew up wanting a brother so when I found out I was pregnant I wanted a boy.

    My H came along and he was a dream and still is. He loves running about in moderation, is polite, enjoys a giggle and eats all his food. This morning at nursery his teacher told me what a lovely boy he is and how mature hen is for his age (3)

    As she was telling me this I was struggling with child number 2. R was shouting and pulling grumps. R is a boy. He is totally different, in fact he is so sure of himself he can bully H!

    I have come to the conclusion that children are children, personalities are complex things and gender doesn’t have much to do with it. Some are gentle souls, other are rough and tumble.

    I want a puppy next

    • April 15, 2016 / 11:16 am

      Hahaha!! Your last line made me laugh! It’s so true, gender doesn’t really come into it. I think maybe it’s a second child thing? He’s awesome & I wouldn’t change him for the world, no matter how crazy he can be!! It’s lovely to hear other people’s stories & experiences. Thanks for your comment.

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