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This real (messy!) Mum’s cleaning schedule.

Cleaning videos seem to be absolutely blowing up and I’ve been watching them with fascination. They are about as far from my reality as you can get. I have nothing but admiration and respect for these ladies (and a huge dose of ‘beautiful home envy’ to boot!) but just in case you were feeling a little bad that it’s not your reality either, I thought I’d write my own, slightly more realistic schedule.

A stock photo of some pretty rainbow cleaning cloths.

Mop floor (first clearing every piece of Lego, dog toy, discarded jumper and random suitcase out of the room, putting the 4 billion shoes back on the shoe rack and turfing the dog outside.)

Clean sink (after unloading the dishwasher, reloading it with the teetering stack of cereal encrusted bowls and plates with the crusts sandwiched between that were filling said sink.)

Clean the toilet. (After removing the random toys, bits of Lego, abandoned book, 4 pants and a sock.)

Make the bed. (After removing the 10 cuddly toys, blankets, stray socks and bits of pyjamas. Ignoring the floordrobe until you need to hoover upstairs. Which is as little as you can get away with without the whole household developing dust allergies.)

Put a wash on. (First collecting all the washing up from everyone’s rooms/landing/strung over the bannisters/in the bathrooms and finding all the socks in the garden by the trampoline.)

Put the wash out. (Or forget about it, rewash it the next day and repeat until someone else deals with it.)

Dust the sides (are you having a giraffe, I’ve not seen any side in my house clutter free in 8 years!)

Hoover (after moving all the crap you moved to mop back onto the now dry floor.)

Let the dog back in. (And watch him track his little muddy paws across every inch of your clean floor.)

Sit back and relax. (Hahahaha as if, race round like a blue arsed fly, trying to cook tea while you watch your kids, dog and partner undo every last thing you achieved!😂)

To really make you feel better, this right here is a real time photo of my kitchen table. Which I’m sitting at and totally ignoring the mess while I type a post about cleaning. Oops. 😁

The absolute carnage that is my kitchen table piled high with books, papers, clothes, games and goodness only knows what! My cleaning reality post!



  1. September 10, 2018 / 9:14 am

    Lola definitely likes to make my house cleaning a challenge – muddy paw prints from the outdoors! #bigpinklink

  2. September 10, 2018 / 11:02 am

    This made me literally laugh out loud – especially the one about the wash. I often forget I’ve done it and remember the next day! Brilliant! #BigPinkLink

  3. September 10, 2018 / 1:39 pm

    Haha this is so funny and totally relatable! #bigpinklink

  4. September 11, 2018 / 1:37 am

    #bigpinklink eugh with 2 under 2 I’m currently groundhog daying never quite ever finishing tidying the kitchen let alone the entire house!

  5. September 11, 2018 / 7:54 am

    We started watching speed cleaning videos and it made us dizzy! I wish we could clean more and fast like that! Seems it’s a never ending mess left in my wake! #BigPinkLink x

  6. September 11, 2018 / 10:42 am

    aww mum live the never-ending challenge of trying to keep on top of housework, must confess much easier now my kids are at school lol X #bigpinklink

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