Going out out.

Not out, out out. Going out refers to a glass of wine with a friend in your local. Or a meal with your partner on ‘date night’. Cinema maybe. Something chilled. Jeans and a nice top territory.

Out out is a whole different ball game. Out out is something special. Pre children, it just meant the weekend but now, it’s an event that is marked on your calendar months in advance. Anticipated, baby sitter booked for, planned in, discussed at the school gates.

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I’m far happier in jeans and a tee. (This is my tea-rex one, genius!) I don’t even use this much make up as a rule but the eyeliner hadn’t budged from last night. *Ahem* Slummy Mummy!

Tonight, I am going out out. However, my husband is away this weekend and so I am having to do all of my prep with a 5 and a 3 year old in tow.

Let me talk you through it. Being very organised, I decided on a dress in my head a couple of days ago but only got round to trying it on this morning. There is a problem. I’ve been on bit of a, (now sliding!), fit kick and I’ve lost some weight. The dress is slightly on the baggy side. Also, it requires a strapless bra. I do not possess a strapless bra. The times I actually need one are so few and far between that I only remember I need one the next time I desperately need one and realise I don’t have one.

We had a party this morning and I’d worked out that there was just enough time to get over to the retail park before it started at 10.am. After all, we were up at 6.15 this morning so plenty of time. I decided to get the kids breakfast out. After all, we have a baby sitter coming and so anything I can do to make the house less messy is a huge bonus!

We also needed a present for the morning party so I decided to go to a well known supermarket first to tick the first two items off my list. Unfortunately, they had their well known 25% off sale on and I manage to spend far too much time in there getting all the sunhats and sunglasses I need for the kids. I also managed to buy myself two items, whoop, maybe I’ll be a less dishevelled Summer Mumma this year. (On 1 day of the 6 weeks anyway!)

A quick time check after this distraction made me realise we were now cutting it fine. Gah! I hustled the kids to a clothes store and hastily grabbed a few bras in a total guestimation of what my size may be. I literally have no clue. When did I last get a proper measure?? It must be post maternity bras, surely?! Zooming into the changing room, I performed a lightning try on, with double, very loud commentary on how babies drink milk and which bit the milk comes out of and also some poking. Then a war raged over the sitting rights on the tiny pouf seat, with copious insults thrown about the size of the sittees bums. There is now definite giggling from the changing room next door! I am totally stressed by the time I determine that I cannot justify buying £26 worth of bras that don’t even fit in one place, never mind all over! Mission failed.

I’d promised a trip to see the animals in the pet shop, as we needed cat litter desperately, (oh the glam life of the blogger hey?!), and whilst there, my daughter picks up a very anatomically detailed leaflet about ‘sexing your small animal’. For the next half an hour, I endured endless questions and a picture of a rat penis thrust into my face repeatedly.

We made it to the party, and all was lovely but now I’m home again and still bra-less and totally unsure about how I’m going to fix this. I had already decided to use double sided sticky tape to keep the dress itself up. Maybe I can wrap my entire upper body in tape and just stick myself into the dress thereby solving all problems! That surely can’t go wrong in any way right?! 😀

Or more likely, change dress. But then it’s a shoe change. And I am already torn between wedges and close toes, but wedges require toe painting and some hours of foot maintenance so possibly not. Plus in true British form, it’s going to pour with rain because we had a couple of nice weather days this week and of course we must be punished!! Either way, the shoes I do choose will be so stuffed with gel ‘cushions’, (pah!), that I will struggle to get my feet in and they will still feel as if I caught my foot in a bear trap after about 15 minutes of wearing!

I also need to paint my nails, do something with my hair which is massively overdue a cut and it therefore impossible to work with, plus get some flicky wings fairly equal on both eyes, walk the dog, feed, wash and pyjama the kids and get into the party spirit. As I am currently sat writing this, it’s not looking promising is it?! 😀

I was also on cake duty and it was a disaster! I mean, I always make the kids’ cakes and it’s always stressful, but this was on another level! Everything that could go wrong absolutely did and the top layer ended up spitting into quarters. This has never happened to me before and so typical when the pressure was firmly on. I seriously debated finding someone to make it for me but knowing how much cakes cost, I persevered and glued the sodding thing back together with about 3 packs worth of butter icing. There were some swears, a few howls of anguish and I’m not convinced it won’t be raw in parts but it looks ok from the outside and I shall just have to buy the entire party a shot right before it comes out. With hindsight, buying a new cake may well have been cheaper! 😉

So, if you see me out tonight, tottering on unfamiliar heels, dress taped on, nails slightly chipped and hair askew, feel sorry for me, not for my dishevelled appearance, oh no, but because with hubster away, tomorrow means I shall be parenting solo. Heeeeelp!

Post Script: Because I’m guessing you’re dying to know how it all turned out! Shortly after I wrote this, a phone call to my friend revealed that she was wearing jeans! Smart jeans but jeans nonetheless. I hadn’t even considered this a possibility, the relief was boundless. And shortlived as I remembered the large streaks of mud down my ‘good jeans’ from the wormery making the day before. Ahhh. A long, fraught rummage unearthed some black trousers that I’d bought for a work thing years before. I paired it with the top I’d bought on the 2 item ‘haul’ earlier, (must have been fate!), and some killer, (almost literally, damn pavements!), heels, a matching(!) bag and straightened hair and fancy eye make up. I actually felt a little like a grown up! 🙂 (I can only apologise for my expressions in the following photos. I didn’t have enough time for the requisite 20 photos required to get a ‘normal’ face!!)

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Post Post Script: The cake! It was bizarrely absolutely fine. Plus everyone was pretty hammered by the time it was cut so they wouldn’t really have known anyway! 😀 (FYI if you know me in real life, purlease don’t ask me to make you a cake for a major party! 😉 )

Superhero theme! I made one for my son’s party last year too. Click the photo to read about it! 😀

94 Comments

  1. Wow indeed! The cake looks fabulous, without looking like it will actully taste horrid which bought cakes always do – style over substance. And you look super glam and svelt. I didn’t even think it was possible to look that good post kids, so you have given me a new hope! But the shopping trip is still my favourite part of this post, especially the pet shop leaflet which made me laugh out loud. #bigpinklink

    • Oh this is a lovely comment, thank you! It did taste good, it was probably the 5 packs of butter that went into it!! 😉

  2. haha! This is why I don’t bother going out anymore, far too much effort. I usually spend the last hour before heading out changing shoes six times before deciding that a whole outfit change is required! Glad it all turned out ok though – and you looked lovely by the way! #bigpinklink

  3. Yay to going out-out! Your day of prepping made me smile, especially the questions about the rat sexing!!. Love your pics too, you look fab, loving the nails and handbag – gorge! Hope you had an awesome evening. Mother recently had her first out-out night with the girls and I *may* have been a little handful whilst she was getting ready, meaning she had to apply make-up one-handed. All was well though, the only thing was she couldn’t contend with the heels and could hardly walk the next day!
    Mothers need their out-out nights! x #bigpinklink

    • See, mothers and heels don’t mix!! Your Mama will soon be a pro at one handed EVERYTHING! Winged eyeliner will become a doddle!

  4. Lol I really enjoyed hearing about a mum who gets stressed out too! You looked absolutely fab, I hope the next day wasn’t too tricky going solo on the parenting! X

    • I’m like that every, (rare!), time we go out. I never learn. It wasn’t too bad thank you, an early start though!!

  5. Well done you! Going out, out after having kids is always such an ordeal and drama isn’t it….lol You look fab and so does the cake! I hope you had a great evening x

  6. I was giggling as soon as I read your title. I’m a BIIIIG Micky Flanagan fan and I’m guessing you are too! Well done on your weight loss and your cake is pretty flipping awesome xx #bigpinklink

    • I LOVE him!!!! He’s hilarious! I didn’t even realise where that had come from until you said! Thank you, the cake is a direct correlation to the sliding fit kick. I made extra cupcakes!

  7. I’m impressed that you manage to get out lol. I haven’t been ‘out’ out since, er, 2005! You looked fabulous, LOVE the nail polish! Glad you enjoyed yourself. 🙂 #bigpinklink

  8. Oh it takes so much effort and planning to go out doesn’t it? I envy my husband who just pops on jeans and shirt and is ready in 5 minutes and i’m hopping from outfit to outfit, tights to hold-ups laddering too many in the process and then back to heels then boots – and that’s before the hair and make-up – drives me insane – and my husband too! I thunk you made the perfect outfit choice and I ADORE that clutch honey! #BigPinkLink

    • It’s so easy for them isn’t it?! The longest thing for my hubs is the beard trim!! The matching shoes are honestly to die for but I almost twisted my ankle in them so I think they’ll go back to being pretty in the shoe rack for a bit!!

  9. Oh my gawd, out-out is out of the question right now… I can barely manage clean clothes to wear on the school run, let alone something which makes me look vaguely attractive.
    You, on the other hand, look fabulous.
    #bigpinklink

    • Oh thanks so much! I usually just roll into something from the ‘floordrobe’ & look pretty dishevelled but now and again I make a bit of effort & I think it looks extra special due to my usual attire!!

  10. you look gorge!! love the outfit and nail colour. hope you had a wonderful time #bigpinklink xx

  11. Gee it’s a relief to know it’s not just my life that is busy and chaotic!!! Love the change room commentary; know it well. You looked lovely; awesome clutch! #bigpinklink

  12. Love your style of writing. Every you write about motherhood resonates with me and I am sure with ever other mom reading your post

  13. Oh to go out out! Such exciting times! (I’m not really sure of what this “out” is you speak of either!) Cake looked awesome and I love the bag… You looked great! Fun read 🙂

  14. loving that cute bag! I also love that T shirt, really love it, like I want it! Not so keen on the image in my head of a rats penis though???? #bigpinklink

  15. It’s the little things like this that you take for granted pre-children! My hubby’s away a lot and it’s typical that the only event of the year, is when he’s away. People without kids don’t understand the trauma we have to go through just to ‘have a bit of fun’ without the little darlings and then there’s the morning after……… xx #bigpinklink

    • It’s so true. Just ‘popping out for a drink’ becomes a major operation on a par with a military planned exercise post kids!

  16. Yaaaay! It all worked out in the end and you looked LURVLEY! You sound like you had a stressful day, why do kids always choose to humilate us in the changing room? Mine normally shout “what a big bum you have mummy” such little darlings……hope you managed to explain the rat’s penis! V.funny to read although not for you #bigpinklink

    • Oh thank you! Oh no, they are such confidence boosters aren’t they?! They both knew exactly what the leaflet was about. Just going for optimum wind up mummy material! 😉

  17. You look stunning! Going out, out is such a stressful affair. Gone are the days of having a whole day to prepare ones body and outfit and now it’s having to quickly do your make up one handed while stopping the child from picking up the cat. #bigpinklink

  18. haha! you looked great! btw it will always be a monumental issue trying to go out, even when they are older lol! hope you had night! #bigpinklink

  19. **a great** night, that was meant to read haha sorry!

  20. You look fab! Thank the lord for dressed up jeans – my fail safe go-to! And totally relate to the strapless bra debacle – in fact, you’ve just reminded me I should look one out to take on holiday in a few weeks, otherwise I’d have completely forgotten! #bigpinklink

    • I STILL need to buy one. I will totes be posting about it again in 6 months time! Have a lovely hol. 🙂

  21. This is SO me when I am going out OUT!! The stress, the worries, the bra panics! I am exactly the same! You look absolutely gorgeous though! #bigpinklink

  22. You look fabulous! Had to giggle at your changing room shenanigans, and once we got to “picture of a rat penis thrust into my face repeatedly” I was snorting out loud in a most unattractive way! :0) That cake is definitely a winner. Extra glass of wine to celebrate was definitely called for!

    Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink

  23. You looked fab! Not out out, but I have a job interview tomorrow and it’ll be weird to be anything other than “mum casual”. Cake looked delicious! #bigpinklink

  24. You look hot Mrs. It is sssoo hard getting ready with kids. Well done you and managing with a hangover the day after too. Loved the cake! xx

  25. Wow you pulled all of that off and ended up looking amazing! I felt tired just reading. The cake looked yummy too! I always have the strapless bra issue too.

    I don’t get out much these days, it all seems like too much hassle!
    Well done you!

    Ps. Wondering if I win the record for the most exclamation marks in a comment?

    #bigpinklink

  26. The last two times I have been going out out the kids have been ill! Fingers crossed for me this Friday! oh and whit woo 🙂 #bigpinklink

  27. Strapless bras are a nightmare! I just avoid buying anything that requires one these days. (A strapless bra, that is, not any bra – my god, I couldn’t go out completely bra-less!)

    Rats penis, hilarious. Did not expect to be guffawing about a rat’s penis…

    #BigPinkLink

    • Haha, I aim to please. I feel sorry for anyone expecting a story of hilarity centered around a stripper or something equally titillating though.

  28. Excellent outfit choice you look fab as does the cake. I went out out recently for a posh lunch sans le babies but getting ready with the two babies in tow nearly gave me a breakdown, you could just hand me the bottle by time I sat for my lunch, stress-full! Hope you had a great time though xx #bigpinklink

  29. Amazing. A strapless bra does no-one any favours. You had a near miss.
    I’ve just seen Beta Mummy’s comment above – I was also struggling to get past ‘rat penis’.
    The cake is awesome, who doesn’t love vivid food colouring?!
    You scrubbed up very well. Hope it was worth all the effort x #BigPinkLink

    • You’re so right, they look awful don’t they?! Yes, I struggled to get past the rat penis event too! 😉

  30. You are very brave taking your children into a changing room! Mine won’t stand for shopping unless it’s expressly for him haha! Also rat penis made me do a big lol, that’s hilarious #bigpinklink

    • I think it’s such a rarity because it’s so stressful but that does mean that they can behave for all of 5 mins as it’s a novelty. The minute that wears off, I’m done for! 😀

  31. I was waiting for a picture of a car crash cake like the ones I make, but it looks fab!! As did you! Going out out is like a military procedure now, I can’t believe how often I did it and how easy it was when I was younger. I hope the rat penis leaflet has been lost and forgotten about xx #bigpinklink

    • The damn leaflet keeps reappearing! I try and find it to bin it but they are too good at squirreling it away! (At least there are no squirrel bits on it….there is a chinchilla’s vitals though!) I wish I’d gone out way more when it was easier! Thanks for your cake love! 🙂

  32. But how was the hangover? 😉 You look lovely. Glad you got out (out).
    #bigpinklink

    • I drove! I was NOT going to risk giving in to the temptation of the free Prosecco and dealing with the two with a banging head. As it happened, I felt as rough as if I’d drank, purely down to the lack of sleep! 🙂

  33. The cake looks amazing! I felt tired just reading about your manic day. did chuckle about the rat penis though… You look fab, glad you had fun. Parenting solo the next day must have been tough though!! Go you. #bigpinklink

  34. Hahah LOVE the cake! Also you look amazing, I don’t think I could have pulled together an outfit like that with two littlens running around asking questions about milk coming out of the nipple. : ) So funny! I don’t own a strapless bra either, actually I only have, like, two bras lol. One of them is a maternity bra. I seriously need to go shopping. God, I hope you were okay the next day! Being hungover with kids and no help from the hubby is THE worst. #bigpinklink

  35. #nailedit!! Amazing cake, despite the setbacks!! And you look amaaaaaaazing!! Like you spent hours getting ready!! Gorgeous outfit, and I especially loved the handbag-so pretty! It sounds like a super stressful day, but I’m sure the wine worked wonders! It was just such a shame that out out fell on an evening when you’d be solo parenting the next day… That’s such an ouch!!!!! I must admit, I avoid out out nowadays-the stress to get ready is too much, as my husband doesn’t feel he should share the childcare, even when I’m trying to get ready, which is really unhelpful, and I literally can’t find anything nice that doesn’t make me look like a beached whale, and that puts me off going out as I know it’ll ruin my entire evening!! I stick to leggings and oversized cardigans for all going out now-I’m dreading it getting really hot….!!
    Thanks for a fab post cohostess!!

  36. First of all you look gorgeous. Second of all I need that bag! I totally identify with what you’re saying – it’s like a military mission trying to get ready for a night out now!! You did bloody well – and a lush looking cake ! PS the “sexing your small animal” leaflet absolutely killed me I’m still giggling now xx #bigpinklink

  37. Well done for making it out out. I haven’t been out out in about 5 years. That is so depressing! It is rare that I ever go out, let alone OUT out.
    Hair, clothes, nails, matching shoes, a cake and a blog post. I call that a pretty fantastic achievement. Hope it was a lot of fun!
    x Alice

  38. I howled with laughter all the way through this post…I might have cried a little too because it’s all so, so true. You looked fabulous, I especially love the black nails (my colour of choice!) The cake looks edible…that’s a plus in my books;-) x #bigpinklink

  39. you look fab, the cake looks alright too!

  40. Oh gosh how stressful is it going ‘out out’ now?! I have default dresses – same style, three or four colours I’m always drawn to buying more when I go shopping and yet I hardly ever go out!! Plus, I am never prepped with regards shaving, painted nails etc etc. You looked great and the cake looks fab Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink

  41. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who has to go through so much just to go out out. You looked great and so did the cake! Hope the next day wasnt too bad solo parenting after going out. Great post! #bigpinklink

  42. Well done on getting out the cake is awesome thanks for hosting #bigpinklive

  43. I have properly giggled at this! I went ‘Out out’ a few weeks ago for the first time in months – but left myself about 7 minutes to get ready. Make up on the train! You looked fabulous, glad you had a lovely time.

  44. Ha ha, it’s not often I can face going out out, or more importantly the post out-out hangover these days! You look bloody gorgeous! It always helps me to think of what state I’ll look like in the end of the night, then I don’t worry so much 😉
    Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink!

  45. This is so funny, and so accurate to most of us too! I loved the changing room ‘scene’, and I especially love that it all worked out well, you looked amazing, and no-one would ever know the hassle it took to get that way! We won’t tell, honest!! #BigPinkLink

  46. Oh my goodness I think you did really well! I am going out this week and I am already wondering how on earth I will manage it…I have to pack up the kids and drive 50mins to my mums (babysitters) house (bear in mind baby is 3 months so has a lot of equipment – steriliser, bottles, perfect prep machine , formula, travel bed, pram…)and then get ready , go out, and then get up with them the next morning and drove home again! Am starting to think it’s a lot of effort for a curry with friend but sure I will appreciate it when I get there! Freedom! Ps. I hate bra shopping…! #bigpinklink

  47. Too true… The bear trap shoes made me laugh so much!! I now take those roll up pumps, hoping to manage a couple of hours in stilettos but in reality never make it further than the taxi ride there before I put them on… Sad times..! (But, bunion preventative. Think of the positives…)

  48. Love that cake! I had to read the bit about “sexing your animal” several times though before I realised it wasn’t something dodgy! #bigpinklink

  49. Haha, love it! I can absolutely relate to this! My room often looks like a floor-drobe when I’m trying to find something to wear for lunch out with my little people, let alone a night out out!

    #bigpinklink

  50. Oh my goodness this sounds like me on the few occasions I get to go out out. We have several weddings this summer and Im already nervous. You look great, hope you enjoyed yourself. And yay for the lovely cake! #bigpinklink #TribalLove

  51. Yay for going out out! I can’t remember the last time I managed to do that >.< and yes, I too have contemplating tapping a dress to my body when I couldn't find a darn strapless bra! You look lovely in the outfit you finally settled on and I love the statement necklace 🙂
    #bigpinklink

    • Oh thank you so much! I’m so glad I’m not the only one to consider resorting to tape! Going out out is a rare thing in my life now, I don’t mind too much though, but I am thinking I may need to update my wardrobe a little for the next time!

  52. pleased you had a great time! I just cant be bothered at all anymore with going out out ! #bigpinklink

  53. You are a superman/superwoman getting through all that in one day, and looking fab ready for a night out! I hope you had a brilliant night out, out and weren’t feeling too worse for wear the next day. Claire x #bigpinklink

  54. You looked lovely, I love your bag! Hope you had a great night out. x #bigpinklink

  55. You looked mahvelous! And it is so important to go out as a momma. Take it from me, we never go out and we should! Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink

  56. Pah hahaha I’m exhausted just reading it!! 🙂 Yes going out out (love Mickey Flanagan forever for this term) and having kids is just the ultimate test in life skills really. And to bake the cake too?! Wonder Woman. To look at your going out out outfit pics you’d never know you’d endured hours of Tazmanian devil style faffery beforehand! Glad everything turned out ok in the end, hope you at least got to enjoy a few drinks or a LARGE slice of cake!! #bigpinklink

  57. The cake sounds great. There have been many cake disasters and we’ve salvaged a few with the fill the cracks with icing technique!

    I am spared the pain of out out but have witnesses the chaos of my wife getting ready for a special night out and that’s without the drama and comedy of sexing small animals. I feel I should have been drinking tea so I could spit it out for dramatic event when reading of your horror of having a rats penis thrust at your face!

    Side note: My son has taken to asking for toast and penis butter despite my best efforts to get him to say peanut.

    #BigPinkLink

  58. You looked lovely! I haven’t been out out since 2011 and don’t see it happening any time soon. I get sooo sleepy come 9.30 Love the shoes! Glad it worked out in the end #bigpinklink

  59. This is the story of my life. Any time I go anywhere I end up having all of these extra things to do & the kids along with me. The actual getting ready part is slapped together at the last minute then. Your outfit & hair / nails turned out fab! I love the look! #bigpinklink x

  60. I love this! Someone suggested that I might like to go out out for my birthday and I did contemplate it for a millisecond. But having read your post and dredged up the long forgotten memory of last time I went out out, I have decided to stay in with large glass of wine and cheesecake! Impressed about how you managed to pull the outfit out of the bag, looking very classy 🙂 Thanks for hosting x #bigpinklink

  61. I stopped taking the Tubblet into changing rooms when she started making comments about the clothes I was trying on … “That makes you look fat mummy …”. Well, thanks for that

  62. I cant remember the last time I went ‘out out’. It was a long time ago! On the rare occasion I do go out, my hubby is always late home from work and I have to make do with baby wipes to freshen up and throw on some lipstick….grrr. You looked really fabulous 🙂 #bigpinklink

  63. It’s amazing how much things change after we have kids. I can’t even remember the last time I went out out. But I love getting dressed up and wearing make up it makes me feel great. Saying that every time I go out now I only have maybe 30 min to get ready because I always put the kids to bed before I go. Crazy right but I suppose I prefer it that way because I know that it will be less stressful for all and the chances of them waking up calling for mummy while i’m out smaller. #bigpinklink

  64. The wrapping your body in tape and the being punished for two days of sun. Oh my goodness you always make me laugh. And I’m exhausted reading HOW much you get done before I’ve barely even had my first tea. Meanwhile, I started trying to sort my BML clothes and am having a total wardrobe disaster #BigPinkLink

  65. The cake & outfit look great! I personally think wrapping yourself entirely in doublesided tape & sticking your dress on is completely valid! I don’t go out out anymore. I barely go out. 😀 #bigpinklink

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