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What makes a good parent?

What makes a good parent?

It’s an interesting question isn’t it? It’s not birthing a baby because only one half of the parental unit does that generally speaking. And there are plenty of people that do birth a baby but then go on to not care for that child for whatever reason.

And it’s not genetics because there are so many wonderful parents who don’t have a direct genetic connection to their child.

Is it love? Well, I’m not sure as there are people that tick most of the boxes for a great parent but they don’t particularly love their child.

So what is it? A burning desire to see their child the happiest they can possibly be? I think so. A parent would literally give their life to save their child. The instinct in them would push their child out of the way of a moving car and take the hit themselves. It’s a desire to see them smile above all else. It’s driving untold hours to take them to clubs, or swimming lessons or for doctors appointments. It’s making appointments to see teachers and maybe having playdates when the last thing in the whole world you feel like doing is looking after someone else’s noisy offspring as they burn off energy after a long day at school.

What makes a good parent is putting someone else’s needs above your own without a second thought. It’s knowing that you don’t want to do something, that there are a hundred other things that you’d rather be doing but doing it anyway for your child putting aside your own feelings.

It’s fighting for them with every last ounce of your strength. It’s shouting loudly on their behalf when they have no voice and standing up for them no matter what. It’s putting aside your own fears and insecurities to be a role model for them, to show them there is nothing to worry about, even when you are quaking inside.

It’s sitting through hours of dance rehearsals, or piano lessons or swimming galas.

It’s choosing mind numbingly boring films you know they will love.

It’s getting up in the middle of the night when you feel that your eyes are burning and your head has been hit by a sledge hammer but dragging yourself from your warm bed despite all that because you know they need you.

There is so much more to being a parent then just feeding and clothing a child. Do I think that I am a good parent?

Well, that totally depends on the day you ask me, or even the time of day! Sometimes I think I’m absolutely rocking the parenting thing, when I am making good food, crafting, answering questions, being funny, making up stories and generally making life as fun and happy as possible for them.

Other days, I am distracted, snappy and wanting to be somewhere, anywhere else.

Overall though? I think I’m a pretty good parent. I love my children, there may not always be paired socks, and occasionally, (shock horror!) there is no decent after school snack, but I would do anything to ensure their happiness and well being. I try my best.

What do you think makes a good parent?

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17 Comments

  1. January 29, 2018 / 6:50 am

    For me it is a bit like you, there are days I feel I have got this parenting thing, days where I am laughing with them ,playing games, dancing and singing loudly or being a strong female role model, other days I can barely drag my ass out of bed and I tell my kids to make their own toast, but I am always here, rain hail, shine, smiles, tantrums, tears, laughter, I am always here.

  2. January 29, 2018 / 6:53 am

    Ask my kids in 20 years and I guess they will have their opinion, they may be like mum did you really have to name me that, or why did you wear that to my graduation! But I hope they will be yeah my mum was a great mum because she was herself, she was there with the bucket at 2am, she was there when my friend was mean, she was there to laugh with me! Let’s hope I don’t suck too much!

  3. January 29, 2018 / 9:30 am

    I think you totally nailed it! #bigpinklink

  4. January 29, 2018 / 10:15 am

    Great description of what makes a good parent. I think you hit the nail on the head there. #bigpinklink

  5. January 29, 2018 / 12:35 pm

    What a thoughful post, I have to shout long and hard for our eldest to have support with his ASD, we have to wake minium 3 times a night with his type 1 and we have to makesure our other two get the time they need. Sometimes I find it hard but I always try so hard to be a good parent #bigpinklink

  6. January 29, 2018 / 12:49 pm

    It’s so hard to know, but I think a desire to do your best by your children, to love and nurture them and help them reach their full potential and know when to put them first is key. As you so rightly say! Lovely post πŸ™‚

  7. January 29, 2018 / 3:46 pm

    Genetics do not play into it. I am adopting our foster kiddo who has lived with us since she was 4. She is more like me than I ever thought would. I would do anything for her! #bigpinklink

  8. January 29, 2018 / 4:59 pm

    It’s definitely redefining for many people. It’s nearly always kids first but it’s important to keep yourself too. #bigpinklink

  9. January 29, 2018 / 8:46 pm

    I love this. I would include the fact you even love their farts because you know then their tummy won’t hurt after! #bigpinklink

  10. January 29, 2018 / 9:36 pm

    I can totally relate to this, as im sure most of us can! We are great parents one day, mediocre the next, but never bad parents (even if we sometimes think we are). Its definitely an insane but wonderful journey πŸ™‚ Emily #bigpinklink

  11. January 29, 2018 / 9:43 pm

    And that’s what matters is that you’re trying your best, and that you are giving them all the love that they need. I think it’s so hard to give your all, all the time, but that’s just natural being a parent. Great post lovely, and it made me day to see my daughter beaming up at me when I arrived home earlier today. Claire x #BigPinkLink

  12. January 30, 2018 / 7:15 am

    Great post Louise. And I agree with you. Just being there supporting your children to try new things, take them to places they want to go that you don’t just so they have a new experience. Love the photos too. #bigpinklink

  13. January 31, 2018 / 4:13 pm

    What a lovely, heartfelt post. I agree, a good parent is about doing everything you can to make your child happy. Putting their life first. But in order to keep being able to be a good parent, you need to put yourself first sometimes too. #bigpinklink

  14. February 4, 2018 / 4:27 pm

    Going above and beyond for your child sounds like good parenting to me. #bigpinklink

  15. February 4, 2018 / 8:48 pm

    I suspect good enough really is good enough. I heard a wise woman say that only the good mums question themselves so I guess you and I are good mums or good enough. I think most mums are good at some stuff and not so good at other stuff. Mine are loved, laugh often and are kept safe. Apart from that there is a lot of slummy mummy stuff going on but they have great values and that makes me think I did something right along the way. I know I loved my mum as much for her failings as her society would approve stuff. #BigPinkLink

  16. February 4, 2018 / 9:43 pm

    Oh I’m definitely the same as you, rocking parenting one day and completely drowning the next and to be honest I think being able to admit its not always easy also makes you a good parent πŸ™‚ Thank you for being such a wonderful co host lovely xx

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